empty spaces ~ armin x reader

chapter seven // forget what i said

a/n: UGH it's been so long since an update so i feel like i owed you guys a very long chapter filled with angst and heartbreak. i'm so happy that i've found time in my schedule to write. this is one of my favorite chapters that i've written so far. 

please go check out my tiktok for updates+anime content: dekusingestedhair 

here is the link for the reading playlist on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPuz-isz7lpRZADQrxOfgr2A3iRvOd1fm

now without further ado,

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𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂, 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝓬𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓶𝔂 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼

𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝓪𝓶

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armin pov:

Facing a fear seemed inconsequential compared to this. I couldn't even categorize this in any part of my mind. Joy, anger, love, nostalgia, disgust, fear. Oh, how I wished the feeling was fear. I knew fear. Fear was the past nine years of my life. I didn't know this feeling.

My best friend stood with his back facing me. The worn look he had displayed, revealing the rough years that had past, had been cleaned away. His face was tinted pink from the towel he had used to wipe the remaining hairs of his beard.

Our eyes met in the reflection of the mirror.

"Eren," I said.

His wet hair hung past his shoulders. He placed a hair tie between his teeth, preoccupying his hands with the task of pulling his hair back. He made no sign of acknowledging me besides keeping his eyes locked on mine.

"A lot has been going on in your absence," I started, trying to shake the void growing between him and the memories. "I assume you've had an eventful break too."

"Eventful? What do you know?" he asked, doubling the hair tie in a half-up half-down bun.

"I wanted you to tell me that," I sighed, taking a step closer towards his cell.

Eren turned his head to face me straight on. He stayed stationary beside the rusting sink. We were only nineteen. Just barely moved past the novelty of adulthood. The perfect age to undermine an entire nation.

"That's very direct of you, Armin," he commented.

"Something the rest of us would appreciate from you," I lashed out, barely stopping my emotions from rising to the surface.

He contemplated me meticulously. Absorbing my words, my face, the way I spoke. Friend or foe. I knew that was what he was trying to figure out.

I was trying to figure it out too.

"Nobody forced you to join my side. You willingly submitted yourself to my cause," he stated plainly, but there was an undertone of hostility.

"You and I both know damn well that you forced our hand the second you got yourself captured," I said, the spitefulness sparking in my voice.

Eren said nothing as his fingers trailed the sink. He created a sequence for his hand to follow as my accusation held dense in the air. A sickening knot wedged itself in the spot between my stomach and my lungs. It pressed itself against my body and my nerves ached with the feeling. I shielded my trembling hands behind my back.

I realized what the feeling was, and it was not fear. It was apprehension. A foreboding concern rooted in my skull, but I did not know what it was warning against.