Loki one-shots fanfiction ♡

66. I'll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife

And somehow Mobius nearly felt ashamed, for it took him this long to realise it was all the same vision. The same crime scene, same body lying on the floor, only that it got more vivid, more real, and it lasted longer each time it happened.

He woke with a start, chest heaved from how hard he was panting. The room was quiet, quiet and dark, and the vision -- the nightmare -- was gone, except the image stayed engraved in his mind. Mobius glanced at Loki sideway, his lover slept soundlessly on his side beside Mobius with his back facing him, but that was enough; seeing Loki, having him so close, was enough an anchor keeping Mobius safe and away from whatever that was.

Mobius turned his head until he was looking up at the ceiling, sighing heavily as if that helped banish the lingering fragment of the lost dream that hadn't quite left his head once he opened his eyes. He wished that was what it was; a lost dream. He knew there was something behind it, and he, for once, doubted he wanted to know the truth.

~~~

The dream -- the nightmare -- only got stronger, while Mobius's mental state turned weaker night by night. He'd become... paranoid, every time he closed his eyes he was hovering over the dead body, a gun in his hands and a bullet hole in the man's chest. His eyes, lifeless and hollow, haunted Mobius even when he was awake and walking.

"Moby!"

Mobius almost flinched. Correction: he did flinch. He felt his cheeks heat up. How long was he zoned out? He hadn't meant to ignore Loki, but he wasn't going to tell him about his being lost in thoughts of what'd been bothering him. Mobius wasn't going to burden Loki what that, not when they were supposed to finally be happy.

"I'm sorry," Mobius covered it with a forced chuckle. "What were you saying?"

Loki sighed softly, but there was something there; a hint of concern, which was worse than annoyance. "You were distracted," he said. It wasn't a question nor an accusation but a simple statement. "You've been distracted lately,"

"Yeah... guess I was just a little tired is all,"

"Mobius," Loki's voice was soft. He leaned across the couch and placed his hand on top of Mobius's, and Mobius reflexively flipped his palm over so their fingers intertwined. Their eyes locked with each other's, and Mobius could see it clear as day now; the worries on his lover's face. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Mobius smiled. His free hand moved to cup Loki's face. "I'm okay," he said, though if anything Mobius should've known he'd always been the worse liar between the two of them, with the other having earned himself the literal title of the God of Lies. He hated having to lie to Loki, the only one he truly ever loved, and he knew, deep down, Loki saw right through his bullshit. The only reason he didn't call Mobius out, was because he was kind enough, or maybe he trusted Mobius enough -- which, if the latter were to be the case, and it most likely was, Mobius knew he was deliberately breaking something they'd worked so hard to build, and he felt disgusted with himself, though he couldn't, wouldn't, burden Loki with something so heavy -- Mobius only kneaded Loki's skin with his thumb. "I'm okay," he said again with a softened voice. 

You're lying right in his face. But the thing was, if Mobius could somehow convince himself that, maybe he would really be okay. After all, they were only nightmares. He wasn't a child who would be affected by something as silly as nightmares.

Loki smiled back. There was still concern there, clear as day. And if this were Before -- when they were more enemies than reluctant friends, let alone lovers, when Loki was a Variant and Mobius his superior, a jailer, to be precise -- Mobius knew Loki would've spat in his face and called him out for the bullshit he'd woven by now. They were way past that. What they were right now; not a God and a bureaucrat but simple two men who were completely, utterly in love with each other. Loki leaned in a bit more until his lips softly found Mobius's cheek, kissing him gently. (And for the moment, Mobius genuinely believed everything was okay)