Frosty Wind Made Moan

17

17

Thoughts of his future self, of how awful he had become, or could become, rolled around Toby's mind. He wondered whether that was the point of all these trips the old man had taken him on, or whether it was all some strange coincidence. It almost gave him a headache thinking about it, but he couldn't ignore the fact that, in some way, he would turn out like Tobias if he didn't do everything he could to prevent it.

Other things tried to push their way into his thoughts, too. Such as how Tobias had reconciled with Dad. In fact, if that picture told the truth, they became quite close in the future. If that had anything to do with Tobias turning out the way he did, Toby couldn't help but wonder if he should avoid his Dad even more.

Then the thought that he didn't want to think about intruded among the other whirlwinds of thoughts. What had happened between Tobias and Mum? Tobias had no picture of Mum on his desk and he had a bitterness about him when Toby mentioned Mum that had made Toby shiver. His Mum was lovely! She couldn't have done something bad. She was Mum!

Even now, Toby thought to the number of times he had felt anger towards his Mum for spending so much time at work. For not getting him the things he wanted, especially the last Christmas and, probably, this Christmas, too. Had Toby's greed forced them apart? Had his selfishness made his Mum say, or do, something that Tobias could not forgive her for?

"You have said little, young Toby." As the old man directed the wind to carry them across the country, through the air above the ever-changing landscape, he patted Toby's shoulder. "It is much to think about, I'm sure. But have you learned from it all?"

"Have you?" Toby didn't know where that question came from, but he couldn't stop himself. "I don't know how any of this works, but you did it before, somehow. You took me, Tobias, on all these trips before, but it turned out different. It turned out bad, didn't it?"

It looked as though the old man was about to say something, but he stopped, wrinkling his forehead. With a wave of the holly and mistletoe wand, he directed the winds to carry them down and Toby saw a deserted hill coming closer. The winds dissipated, leaving them standing upon dark grass, a valley stretching out below them.

Toby shivered. Though the magical winds had gone, here, atop the hill, normal winds blew and they cut deep into the material of Toby's hoody and tracksuit bottoms. The old man must have noticed, because Toby heard that grinding sound, that had first alerted him to the old man's existence, and soon that great fireplace stood beside them, giving off much needed heat from the high flames within the grate.

"Everyone must learn. Everyone." Hands rubbed against each other and the old man held them before the flames of the fire, warming himself. "Everyone makes mistakes. What we do to rectify those mistakes, to pay for those mistakes, is how one can be judged by others. Even I, as ancient and wise as I am, can make mistakes. Although I have far greater methods of making the changes needed to erase those mistakes."

"So, I'm a mistake?" That didn't make Toby feel better at all, nor did it explain anything. "I feel like a mistake."

His head dipped as he looked into the dancing flames of the fire, incongruous in its position on top of this dark, isolated hill. He could see lights in the distance on all sides. Lights from passing cars, speeding this way and that. From villages and towns and tiny, out-of-the-way homes. Above, the sky cloudless now, he could see the billions of stars and galaxies twinkling. Yet none of those lights shone upon him.

"No. No!" The old man crouched, gathering up the skirts of his thick, green dress. For the first time, he looked at Toby from Toby's level. "The mistakes were mine and mine alone. I found a child in need of guidance, but my guidance was lacking something. A humanity that I have not felt in so many years."