Came Because of Our Song ✔️

Not Again, Never Again

An elder shouted, pointing angrily at her. Never mind that he was forgetting his own. Lan Qiren had to stop to take much needed breath and cough blood after attempting to break through the silence spell placed on him by Lan Xichen; or he would have continued.

Lan Zhanshi, on the other hand looked like she could care less. Her blazing eyes and protective stance spoke as much. She had one hand on Lan Wangji's arm; the latter white and subtly trembling with anger and overwhelming emotions.

Lan Wangji's face was anything but blank right now. He doesn't know why but his mother has always been a tender spot in his heart, hit by shufu and other Lan elders multiple times. The Lan elders, he understands. But what he doesn't understand is why his own uncle would use her against him all the time, like she was a weapon to be wielded and not a human who was an important figure in Lan Wangji's life.

Maybe it's because she was such an important figure for him and his brother that the Lan elders use her. Because they know the arrow never misses it's target.

Will they use Lan Zhanshi too ?

He saw his mother wither away in the seclusion, he saw how the confines of her house carved her, erased her. Punished for something Lan Wangji suspects was just. Knows that the cause must have been just.

It's quite ironical how the connection and conclusion is easy to make now. Throughout his life, Lan Wangji has seen people close to him suffer because of their sense of justice and instinct to protect. His mother, whom he only knew from his monthly visits and the stories she told. She had been a lovely mother, always smiling despite being imprisoned.

Wu BenFang had loved telling stories. Whenever the little Lan brothers visited her, she had another new tale, another surprise hidden in the world of imagination waiting for them. Her characters didn't have any name but adjectives and their roles in life defining them. She especially loved it when little A Zhan would drop his blank face and look curiously at her whenever she started a story. A Zhan rarely smiled when monthly visits started and he was able to understand his surroundings. A Huan would make silly faces at his brother, telling her that his baby brother was interesting!

" How is he interesting A Huan ?"

" A Zhan doesn't smile easily A Niang! But he looks so pretty and cute when he does!" A Huan seem to deflate after that so BenFang took him in her lap and stroked his head while watching A Zhan who had fallen asleep on the other side of her lap. The brothers snuggled close to her, drawn towards the warmth and BenFang's heart clenched for them. They were so young and didn't deserve to be separated from their mother. Just because she was punished doesn't mean her children have to suffer too.

Life was so cruel to such innocent souls.

If only she could relieve them from this.....

'I am sorry A Huan, A Zhan. I am sorry you have me as your mother.'

She hadn't known then that her little A Zhan had been awake.

-~•●•~-

The anguish and vulnerability in that voice, the sadness and the agony in it is something which would haunt Lan Wangji till his last days. He had known then, that his mother's seclusion was not simply a case of punishment. That voice had carried many emotions, the sentence laden with grief but there wasn't a hint of ugly regret. Not the one which came with the knowledge of committing a sin. She had not regretted her action, her decision to kill the Lan elder ever but she regretted putting her children in such a position.

His uncle's reluctance and ignorance to his repetitive tries of knowing the truth confirmed his thoughts, solidifying with each given encounter on the subject.