Come Find Me | Dramione

Chapter 25: The In-Between

"Granger is a hell of a lot stronger than you think, mate. She knows you. She knows you didn't mean it."

"I'm so fucking selfish, aren't I? Sitting here begging you to come back so you can fix my mess... Fuck, Theo, I'm so sorry," Draco shook his head as new tears began to fall. "I'm sorry I didn't see this. I'm sorry I was so wrapped up in myself that I forgot to look out for you. I'm sorry you felt so alone. I wish I could go back and speak up. I knew that day you came to my house that you weren't doing well. But I was so fucking focused on Granger that I couldn't even be bothered—" he broke off, unable to control his cries.

Theo thought back to that day sitting on Draco's sofa. It wasn't long after his relapse. After Granger had shut everyone out. After Draco had stopped taking lunch with him. After Blaise had left for Italy on business.

"It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you," he said, wishing Draco could hear him.

"It wasn't your fault," he heard Blaise repeat from the doorway, two cups of shit hospital coffee in his hands. He took off his healer cloak and hung it over the chair that Draco had been sitting in when he left. "Neither of us could see what he was going through. We both thought he was better. Theo wouldn't want all of the people closest to him to take the blame for something that was out of anyone's control. Even Theo's."

Blaise walked up behind Draco. "Theo is an addict. It's an illness. Out of anyone's control. Now, all we can do is wait and pray to the gods that his illness didn't get the best of him."

"How could this happen? How is Granger involved, Blaise?"

Theo looked to his feet. He regretted not telling Draco about the night after Hermione's birthday when she came to him at her lowest. A part of him wanted to tell him, but he knew it wasn't fair to Granger. He told Blaise because he felt like he was drowning in the weight of knowing what he knew.

And because he trusted Blaise with his life.

He listened as Blaise told Draco every detail from that horrible night. Watched as he explained how Granger suffered the same affliction that landed Theo in that bed.

"I didn't know," Draco finally spoke, holding his head in his hands.

"I don't think many people did. But you know better than anyone how powerful Granger is. When she sets her mind to something, she does it. She kicked her addiction's arse. Theo told me what an inspiration she was to him. So this wasn't her fault either, mate."

Draco took a deep breath. "I'm a fucking idiot," he whispered, looking over to Theo's body. "I was just so scared. I didn't know if he was dead or alive. He's my family..." he looked at Blaise. "Both of you are my family."

"I know," Blaise nodded his head. "I just wish he was here. I wish I could put my arms around him, let him know that I have his back..."

They both sat in those same blue leather chairs on either side of his hospital bed. Silence filled the room, but Theo could feel his friends' unspoken prayers to gods he wasn't even sure they believed in. He watched as they both fell asleep, their faces still haunted even as they dreamt.

He closed his eyes and tried to imagine a simpler life, one without pain or heartache, begging sleep to take him away from every mistake and all of this hurt.

Suddenly there was a brightness pushing against his eyelids, but he didn't want to open them. He just wanted to sleep.

The brightness persisted, and he finally allowed his eyes to flutter open. But he was no longer in that hospital room.

He knew this place.

Theo sat up, looking around and recognizing his family's old vacation home in Spain. It was a smaller house, not far from the Spanish beaches. He got to his feet, realizing everything was just as he remembered it. His children-sized broom was tucked in the opposite corner from where he stood. The Wizard's Chess set he and Draco used to play while sitting on the ground in front of the fireplace scattered at his feet. The older paintings that looked like they belonged in museums hung on the sitting room's walls.