Deep Kick (Kurt Cobain x Reader)

Fade Into You

My dreams were full of possibilities for the future. I saw myself and all my loved ones living their best lives. Nirvana was going on to tour the world, and I was with them, with my band. Kurt was happy, the happiest I've ever seen him. Tracy found someone she loves, and became a professional photographer in Seattle. My Dad had also found someone, someone respectable and caring. I was able to buy them a house with my band's fame, where they could live peacefully in the clouds over puget sound. Everything was perfect, until Kurt kissed me. My dream took a bitter-sweet turn; Tracy said she never wanted to speak to me again. Nirvana fans called me a gold-digging slut, forcing me out of my blissful relationship with Kurt. My brow furrowed as I slept; a relationship with Kurt?? Then memories from last night seeped into my dream. Was Tracy okay with going home with that guy? I tossed and turned, as my dream became more feverish.

I woke with a start. It was pouring rain outside, everyone was still asleep. Kurt's hand lay outstretched on the bed, a small smile on his face. Krist and Chad laid awkwardly on the bed, as if they fell onto it and died. If it weren't for their snores, I would have thought as much; they were out of it. The clock read 6:57am. I went to the bathroom and stared into my horrid reflection--I remembered very little from last night...only that I was drunk as fuck and we were watching TV.

Oh, and I kissed Kurt.

I felt a lurch in my stomach; did I really do that? I ran over to the toilet and emptied whatever contents were left. My legs shook as my mind went into overdrive again. I thought back to my dream. The idea of being with Kurt seemed familiar to me. I was then reminded of when I first met him. He was upset, his mother kicked him out or something. He seemed so sad, but he was still just as beautiful as ever. I smiled at the thought of the times we've spent together. Maybe kissing him wasn't such a bad thing. I sat down next to the toilet. What about Tracy? She'd probably be pissed if she knew I kissed him. I'm sure he wouldn't tell her, but would she find out? Maybe I'm just over thinking.

I continued to lurch into the toilet. Something tapped my shoulder causing me to start--

"Sorry, I just brought you some water." Kurt said, holding the cup in front of me.

"OH um thank you. Sorry, this is disgusting." I mumbled.

"It's okay, happens to me all the time," he smiled, holding my hair back.

Even this made my face heat up, as awkward and embarrassing as this was. He sat, facing away, rubbing my back slowly. Eventually I felt better enough to eat some Advil and have a cigarette with Kurt outside. We sat in silence for a bit, as we usually do. I've always wished we were able to talk easier. Or, I mean we do, but it usually takes a while for conversation to strike. I stole a few glances of his profile. I want to draw him, his face is so artistic. The hand holding his cigarette, full of shapes and colors, blues purples, greens, beige, red, peachy pinks, and creamy highlights. They looked strong and worn, more than ever.

"You've been working hard on that band," he looks over to me. "It's really awesome to see, I'm so happy for you guys."

"I know, you said that yesterday." He smirked. I blushed looked away mid-drag from my cigarette. "Do you... remember what happened?"

(Kurt's POV)

I asked, looking at her expectantly. She looked back to me and nodded. That sheepish grin of hers. "Did you mean to do that? Like what you said and everything" I apologized quickly. I had to know. I felt so much love for her, love that's been dormant for so long in my heart. I wanted to know if there was something to hope for. I looked down, waiting for her reply.

"You know, I did." She said after a few minutes. "I don't know how to explain how much you mean to me. I didn't even realize until recently how much I wanted to know you more. I wish we could have better conversations about things, I think we have a lot in common. Plus, Kurt, you're objectively beautiful inside and out. So yes, I meant whatever I said and did."

My heart exploded. I was smiling from ear to ear. I took her hand and gave it a small squeeze. "That's exactly what I want as well." She called me beautiful. I've never considered myself beautiful. "Thank you." She wraps her arm around me and rests her head on my shoulder.

"What will Tracy think, though..." she says softly.

I just look at her and smile. "She doesn't need to know right now." She laughs and hands me another cigarette.

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(y/n POV)

Fast forward to a very late lunch with Krist, Chad and Kurt. We went some place called Linda's Tavern near Capitol Hill, Seattle. It was some hole in the wall place but the band swore by it. Kurt held my hand under the table waiting for our food to arrive. I had just got off the phone with Tracy; she brought the guy to her apartment last night and all is well. I felt a huge sense of relief.

"I wish I remembered that gig last night, I hope we didn't suck." Krist said. The fact this man could eat at all today was amazing to me.

"It was a good gig. Most people either loved you or hated you. I see that as a good thing, a strong impression was made." I said trying my best to remember, myself.

"We totally sucked." Chad said, his head in his arms.

I kicked him lightly under the table, "You did not!"

Kurt just laughed and looked out the window at the city streets bustling with cars and people. The rain had stopped but it was still damp and densely cloudy. "I love when the rain on windows scatter the light from the lights outside," I said to Kurt quietly so the others didn't really hear. Kurt looks at me with a smirk on his face, a small dusting of pink on his nose. "I like that, too. Especially when it's not nighttime but it's still dark outside, it's calming." I nodded, "word to that."

I love small talk like this. Discussing the details is my favorite. Especially when it's with Kurt--he knows what's up.

(Author's Note): I heard the Mazzy Star song in the background while writing this, felt it would be the perfect title, hehe. Especially since there's an ongoing theme of song title chapter names for this.