All Along | ✓

Chapter Nine

It's instinct to protest, but I refrain, walking into the kitchen to grab the cutlery. Oli follows behind me, grabbing the placemats from the drawer without having to be asked. He sets one at each seat and I follow him around the table, placing a knife and fork on each one. At the last seat, he places the mat down and turns to face me, watching as I place the cutlery down before I look up at him.

He narrows his eyes slightly, crouching down and cupping my face. My eyes widen slightly at the proximity when he leans in to get a better look at my face and I can't help the blush the rushes to my cheeks. Remember that crush I had on Oli a couple years ago? Yeah, that never went away.

"You've got that shít on your eyes again." He grumbles and my eyes widen even further.

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you swear." I mutter, a little smile lifting my lips.

He rolls his eyes, dropping his hands from my face, "Well, you're not really a kid anymore, huh? I never swore around you 'cause I was scared of corrupting your innocent little ears. You're going to high school next year though, I'm sure you've heard all those words before."

I frown a little at the reminder of growing up. I've never felt less like a kid than now that Oli's been gone. Sure, a year ago I was twelve and was already maturing mentally, physically, emotionally... But Oli never made me feel like I had to. Girls at school were starting to wear make up and dress differently, I was getting more chores around the house, teachers started expecting more work and giving out more homework. But with Oli I could always just be me. He never expected me to change because I got older and never stopped me from needing or wanting help with things I should be able to do on my own. In the little things, he always made the extra effort to make me feel the same stressless and carefree feeling that comes with being a kid.

Oli's face drops into a frown when he sees mine. "Where'd that come from, Little One? That frown's not supposed to be there."

I give a half-hearted shrug, my emotions suddenly becoming too much for me. I feel the tears gather in my eyes and try to blink them away, not even knowing why I'm about to cry. I don't even feel that sad. I don't have any reason to cry. I know I'm being irrational. But sometimes everything gets too much and now that my person is here I feel like I can finally just breakdown, knowing he's here to catch me.

The first sight of my tear-filled eyes causes Oli to react. He knows me better than anyone, so he knows crying in front of my parents and his isn't something I want to do. I'm thirteen, for God's sake. But as always, Oli makes me feel like I can express myself however I need to and I'll never feel judged.

He quickly grabs my hand in his and tugs me behind him, leading me out into the living room where they won't be able to see us. He walks straight to the couch and sits down, tugging me closer but letting me decide where I'd be more comfortable to sit.

And I've always been most comfortable when I can physically feel him with me, keeping me safe, so I clamber into his lap and curl myself up into a ball. His large arms wrap around me, holding me close and letting me press my face into his neck. His pulse thrums against my cheek and I let the feeling calm me as the tears start slowly falling from my eyes.

"I've got you, Little Luna," he promises softly, rubbing a hand up and down my back slowly and soothingly, "It's okay. You can cry now. I'm here."

Of course he knows. He always knows. It's not as if I haven't cried since he left. I cried myself to sleep every night for almost two weeks after he left. And my parents are wonderful, they comforted me and held me. But sometimes late at night I feel the need to cry and I have no real reason why. And no one's ever really understood that or comforted me or just let me feel like Oli has. He's never made me feel weak for crying. He just holds me and lets me release my feelings in the only way my body knows how.