Sinful Women Series 1: Dangerous Chained

Chapter 20

I don't know how...My mind is filled with memories that I'll never forget, yet I can't seem to cry or speak about them. The traumatic thoughts keep running through my head and won't leave me alone.

All I can say is that after just one night, I became a different person - someone broken and shattered beyond recognition. Mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, I'm struggling to hold myself together.

"Ate, uwi na po tayo." Nina said, her words echoing in my ears.

Tulala ako pinipilit pigilan ang senaryo na umiikot. Dahan dahan akong ngumiti sa kanya at pilit ngumiti. Kahit ibaon ko ang aking emosyon sa akin ngunit di ko maiwasan umapaw ito, punong puno ako ng iba't ibang emosyon.

"Sige pero wag niyong sabihin sa Kuya Craig niyo ang nangyari. H-Hindi...Hindi naman ako n-nasaktan." I stuttered for lying.

He doesn't know need to know this, pero di ko alam kung paano ako haharap sa kanya ng normal, parang Haliya kahapon. Nahihiya ako para sa sarili ko, nadudumihan ako. Ang sabihin sa kanya ay wala ring mangyayari dahil nagawa na, naranasan ko na ang pait at maging biktima ng karabasan ng mundo.

Di ko na narinig ang sagot ng dalawa, inaya ko silang umuwi na. Nahihirapan akong maglakad habang may dugo na natuyo sa aking mga hita. Ang lagkit din ng aking katawan na pilit kong iniignora, at normal na inayos ang sarili kahit nanginginig ang bawat kalamnan ko.

"Ayos lang ba kayo?" I said after a long silence between us.

Nakita kong tumango sila, pilit akong ngumiti. I saw them nodding, so I forced a smile. They're both okay, but I could tell something was bothering them. They had scars on their faces, which is why we stopped at the convenience store to get them treated right away.

"Ate,"

I heard Lena and quickly looked her way. She seemed upset and like she had something on her mind.

"Ate, sabihin na natin kay Kuya Craig." May pag aalala ang kanyang boses.

"Oo sasabihin natin pero ang nangyari lamang sa inyo ang dapat niyang malaman. Yung a-akin, di na dapat." I said.

"Pero po—"

"Sabihin niyo na lamang na di ako kasama. W-wala ako sa oras na 'yun." I strongly said.

Gusto ko na lang isipin na hindi ako nandun, wala ako at hindi...hindi nangyari ang bagay na ayaw kong maranasan. Pero nangyari... wala naman akong takas sa bagay na 'yun. But I can pretend... I can pretend that everything is not killing me.

"Nag-aalala po kami—"

I had to interrupt Lena's chatter because it was getting too painful for me.

"A-Ako na hahawak sa phone ni Chesa. Itatago ko." I said.

A phone that captures my pain, I want to hold onto it. I should be the only one who keeps it, with no one else watching. The mere thought of someone witnessing my suffering disgusts me. I'm grateful that they stopped talking, as I can no longer find the words to express myself.

Nadatnan ko si Craig na nasa labas, nakikipag-usap sa mga residente. Seryoso ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya, hanggang sa dumapo sa akin ang berde niyang mata. May sinabi siya sagli sa kanyang mga kasama bago ako mabilis na sinalubong.

"Ginabi kayo," he said, his gaze fixed on me with intensity. Once again, he's delving into my soul, reading me like an open book.

"Uh...may n-nakaaway lang po kami kaya..natagalan po kami." Lena answered it.