Nova Principia (A Roarke Story)

Chapter Two: She Said Yes

"They are not savages! They may have a different way of life and a more primal sense of justice than we were raised to have, but at least they have honor. Lincoln has helped us so many times simply because we are the people of the woman he loves. Lexa may be a selfish bitch, but her people honor their deals. Despite her flaws, she isn't sentencing Skaikru to death for the massacre you and Pike ordered. We are in hot water right now because of you. This alliance wouldn't even be necessary if you had been the person I thought you were. Because of you I'm going to enter into a political alliance, marry a man that kidnapped me, and have children with him to protect all of us."

I get into Bellamy's personal space and yell at him just like I did back in the dropship days. It makes me sad that we're back to this, being on opposite sides, it hurts more this time. He should know better. I shouldn't have to yell at him for this. Part of me mourns for the Bellamy I thought I knew, my protector and best friend.

"How the fuck is any of this my fault? You left me! You left after Mount Weather and then suddenly I'm supposed to know what to do and lead this camp without you. We've never separated like that since we fucking met. How did you expect it to go Wanheda?"

I glare at Bellamy as once again he refuses to take responsibility for his actions and puts everything on me. Today is my 19th birthday for fuck's sake. And here I am again, taking care of everyone, I haven't even had the chance to eat today. Happy fucking birthday to me. Maybe I didn't handle everything the way I should have, but I became Heda a few months before my 18th birthday. Suddenly, I'm in charge of taking care of everyone and sacrificing everything and they're angry that I had a fucking breakdown after I was forced to commit genocide. I back away from him with disgust and hurt in my eyes. Out of everyone on this planet I thought he would understand. Clearly, I don't know him at all. I don't realize I'm crying until his eyes soften and he reaches for me. I spin on my heel, dodging his touch, and run outside, desperately trying to get away from him. Why can't I breathe? I run through Arkadia with tears running down my cheeks and panic clawing at my throat until a big hand wraps around my arm and tugs me into a hard chest. I look up to find myself in the strong grip of my future husband, Roan. His piercing blue eyes notice everything, and for the first time in a long time I feel seen.

"Clarke, what's wrong?"

He gentles his grip before tugging me closer, protective instincts flaring. He eyes the people around us warily before making eye contact with Echo, who immediately has the king's guard form a wall between us and any potential threat in Arkadia.

"Did someone hurt you?"

I'm shocked by the gentleness such a fierce man shows me. How ironic that the man I trust the most in this world just scared me and made me cry and now the man trying to comfort and protect me is the same man who kidnapped me. When I don't answer and continue to stare at him in shock, he seems to take that to mean I've been threatened because the beast of a man I will soon call husband simply scoops me up in his arms and starts walking towards the gate. It is at this moment that Echo decides to prove her loyalty to me by promising to gut the person responsible for making the great Wanheda cry. I quickly try to wipe my tears while ordering my husband to put me down.

"You are to be my wife, Clarke. I will not have anyone making you cry or feel intimidated. You will stay with Echo, by the horses, and I will sort this out."

I attempt to protest, but Roan gently deposits me right next to Echo before marching back with anger marking the tense line of his shoulders.

"Well, that went well."

I mutter sarcastically after finally getting my emotions under control. Echo hears me and snorts in agreement before working up the courage to ask me who made me cry and what was done to make me cry in the first place.

"You'll think I'm pathetic, especially considering I'm supposed to be this strong, unfeeling warrior princess from the sky."

Echo watches me for a moment, weighing my words in her head.

"Tell me your story Heda, I might surprise you. Even the warriors of Azgeda mourn."

I consider her words, watching the way she is ready to defend a woman she doesn't even know out of loyalty to her king. From what little I know of Roan, he seems honorable and he inspires steadfast loyalty from a trained spy. Maybe I should give her the chance to prove me wrong. I let out a breath before finally speaking.

"On the Ark I am considered the closest thing we have to royalty. My best friend was the former Heda's only son, my mother is the head healer, and my father was a brilliant engineer who was loved by everyone. One day my father found a flaw with the oxygen system that he couldn't fix, but he thought if everyone was told we could come up with a solution. My mom and the council disagreed. When I found out he was going to go against their orders to keep it quiet I offered to help him, and for that crime my mother had her own husband executed and her only daughter thrown into solitary confinement and eventually sent down to a planet they believed to still be toxic with radiation."

Echo looks at me shocked and infuriated. That a mother could of her own free will sentence her own husband to death and condemn her daughter to what she'd thought to be the same fate.

"The former queen, Nia, was not a great mother to her children, but she loved her husband more than her own life, and despite how my king disappointed her, she would have waged wars for his life."

I smile sadly, knowing my mother thinks she would do the same.

"When we fell to Earth I was two months shy of my Eighteenth birthday. In our culture eighteen is the official age of adulthood. I was locked in solitary for a year before I came to Earth.
I had to become Heda as soon as we landed because no one else would. I never wanted to be in charge, to sacrifice myself, to make all the hard decisions and be judged for them, but no one else cared about my people enough to step up. So I became who I needed to be. And when the mountain men refused to let my people go, I was forced kill them all. All I was trained for, all I've ever wanted, is to be a healer. Now one of my best friends is dead and the other one hates me and blames me for everything because I wasn't strong enough to be there and sacrifice myself more for their sake. They hate me for trying to save them Echo. And all I want to do is scream that I never wanted to do any of this, I only did it for their sake because they asked it of me and here I am doing it again. Do you know what Bellamy did? My best friend has hated me for months and today he yelled at me for protecting us, again. I just couldn't take it anymore. I have no strength left to carry this burden so I cried."

I stare at Echo, waiting for the rejection, waiting to hear how I'm a weak Skaigeda, undeserving of their king. Instead I see sympathy and understanding and anger on my behalf. A guard speaks up with eyes the same piercing blue as Roan's.

"Ai Haiplana, you are not weak. You are a daughter of the Skai, of life, of healing. You do not desire death, but you will deal in death should your people be threatened or harmed. You are a true queen. I am honored to serve you, should you accept my brother's proposal."

I have made the right choice.