Loki's Savior ( loki fanfiction ) [ Lokixreader ]

chapter 22 : pain and pleasure

You told Loki what happened , not what really happened tho , you couldn't exactly tell him you killed your father , not when you still hoping that the world you're living in isn't real and that you might wake up at any moment , you couldn't ruin that hope , because the alternative was too painful , too bitter to swallow , that you killed your own true real father ! you couldn't possibly live if that was what really happened ...
Loki lied down next to you , you look at his eye and you realize his eyes aren't the same as your Loki's , it's not the kind of difference you could exactly explain , it was more like the way he looks at you ...
Even the way he holds you seems different , too cold and weak , his voice saying your name feels odd , your Loki's voice saying your name feels like he loves it , like he enjoys saying it ...
It all feels weird at that moment , was it really the case or were you too hopeless that you started to believe your ghosts that live inside your head ...

After the funeral you went back to your house , thought about telling the cops what really happened but you had to see him once again ...
You locked yourself in your room , lied down on your back and closed your eyes ...
As soon you stopped blocking Loki he appeared in your room , he was already trying to reach you so once you took off the barrier he found you .

He rushed to you , held you crying , couldn't believe his eyes , that you were still there ...
- what happened ? are you okay ? where have you been ?
He said touching your face , squeezing your head gently between his hands ...
You grabbed his hands and pulled them down , looked at his teary eyes and told him you blocked him , stopped him from seeing you .
When he asked why you told him you were too scared to see him before you do it ...
- so you did it ?
He asked , you nodded " yes " before you started crying .
- I killed him , Loki , I killed my father .
- he's not your father .
He says wiping your tears ...
- then why didn't I wake up ? why am I still here ? why ?
- it only means one thing , it's not your father ... I was wrong .
- no ... it means you're not real .
- what ?
- I can't believe I actually believed it , that I killed my father , I still smell his blood on my hands so tell me how's that not real ? because it felt real to me .
- I know , but trust me ... whatever you see here , it's not real .
- how can I trust you ? I can't even tell what's real or not .
You burst into tears , Loki holds you close to him

- "Some day , when I'm awfully low ...
When the world is cold .
I will feel a glow just thinking of you ...
And the way you look tonight .
You're lovely , with your smile so warm ...
And your cheeks so soft .
There is nothing for me but to love you ...
And the way you look tonight .
With each word your tenderness grows ...
Tearing my fears apart .
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose ...
Touches my foolish heart .
Yes you're lovely , never , ever change ...
Keep that breathless charm .
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you .
Just the way you look tonight ... "

- do you remember this song ?
He whispers into your ear before he continues humming it ...
- you used to sing it all the time in Sakaar , but that's not real , is it ?
- close your eyes .
Loki asks looking into your eyes , you look into his for a moment before you close them ...
He observes your details for a second before he leans and kisses you ...
You open your eyes to find yourself in a different place , you look around you looking for something familiar before you realize you were on Sakaar
It was weird , to be there like for real and not just remembering it , it felt more real there , like it didn't seem blurred or hard to imagine anymore ...
You turned around you looking for Loki everywhere but he wasn't there .
You walked in the hallway looking at everyone's face you see ...
You heard his voice singing a familiar song ...

" Some day , when I'm awfully low ...
When the world is cold .
I will feel a glow just thinking of you ...
And the way you look tonight .
You're lovely , with your smile so warm ...
And your cheeks so soft .
There is nothing for me but to love you ...
And the way you look tonight .
With each word your tenderness grows ... "
You followed his voice into a grand chamber ...
He was at the stage singing , with the most beautiful voice you've ever heard , he seemed happy , you could tell by his smile ...
He was looking at a girl sitting right before the stage , you soon realized that girl was you ...