54. Bokuaka

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Main pairing: Bokuto Koutaro x Akaashi Keiji

Other pairing(s): None

Warnings: 🚩 // Descriptions of panic attacks // Mentions of self-harm

Time: Pre-timeskip

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*Akaashi and Bokuto's private messages*

Akaashi: Bo

Bokuto: What's up lovely :D

Bokuto: You normally don't text this late

Bokuto: Is everything alright??

Akaashi: I'm having a panic attack rn

Akaashi: I'm sorry if I'm asking for too much but-

Bokuto: omw

-Bokuto is offline-

*A few minutes later*

*Bokuto opens the door with the spare key he has*

*He runs up to Akaashi's room and finds them in the corner*

*Bokuto crouching down in front of Akaashi*: Hey baby, can I touch you?

*Akaashi shakes their head no and they open their mouth to explain but Bokuto shushes them*

Bokuto: It's ok, Jiji. 

*Bokuto, smiling*: How can I make you feel better, love?

*Akaashi, their voice barely a whisper*: Can- can you sing please? Your voice calms me down...

Bokuto: I just want you to remember, I mean every word of what I'm about to sing, ok?

*Akaashi nods*

*Bokuto starts to sing "I Will" by Mitski*

Bokuto: I will take good care of you, 

I will take good care of you

Everything you feel is good

If you would only let you

I will wash your hair at night

And dry it off with care

I will see your body bare

And still I will live here

*Akaashi, stuttering*: Y-you know?

*Bokuto, smiling softly*: I know.

*Akaashi, in a low voice*: And... you're not mad?

Bokuto: I know that everyone has different coping mechanisms, Jiji.

Bokuto: I also know that you've been clean for a month.

Bokuto: And I'm so proud of you.

*Akaashi, whispering*: It's scary... to relapse, I mean.

Bokuto: I know, love. I'm always here for you, though.

Bokuto: If you want to talk about anything, I'm never going anywhere.

*Akaashi hugs Bokuto and sits in his lap, hiding their face in Bokuto's neck* (kinda like the pic above)

Akaashi: Can you please sing some more?

*Bokuto hums in agreement*

Bokuto: And all the quiet nights you bear

Seal them up with care 

No one needs to know they're there

For I will hold them for you

'cause all I ever wanted is here

*Bokuto starts playing with Akaashi's hair*

Bokuto: All I ever wanted

All I want is

Always you

It's always you

And we're not out of the tunnel

I bet you though there's an end

Stay with me

Hold my hand

There's no need

To be brave

*Bokuto realizes Akaashi is tired so he puts them on the bed and starts changing their clothes*

*Akaashi, whispering*: No... I don't want you to see me with... with... y'know... You won't love me with them, they're ugly.

Bokuto: I'll understand if you don't want to, but I will love you no matter what.   

*Akaashi nods silently, looking away, not wanting to see Bokuto's disgusted look when he sees their scars. However they look back at him when they feel Bokuto's lips on their thigh*

Bokuto: They're beautiful.

*Akaashi's eyes water*

Bokuto: I love every part of you, good and bad. Nothing will ever change that.

Akaashi: I love you.

*Bokuto finishes changing Akaashi's clothes and lays them under the blanket, climbing in next to them*

Bokuto: Goodnight Ji.

Akaashi: Goodnight Bo.

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me 🤝reflecting on Akaashi

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