𝙁𝙡𝘼𝙈𝙀 // 𝙀𝙑𝘼𝙉 𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙇𝙀𝙔

Twenty-three.

"Do you think you could still care for him-.."

"No" Kate snapped "I hate him with every part of my being, I mean he killed my son and then he almost got my mother killed. He's ruined my life in ways that will never Be fixed"

"But you are paying for his rehab"

"Yes!" Kate exclaimed "aren't you suppose to tell me why"

"Here's what I think, I think you hate him with very good reason to but I also think a part of you takes pity because you know that Sam was his son too and what happened effects him just as much as it effects you"

She was right, Kate knew she was right. But Kate didn't want to feel this way, she didn't want to sympathize for the man who killed her son, she didn't want to think about how he felt.

"But i shouldn't!" She yelled, rising from her chair "I shouldn't care what he thinks because it never wouldn't have happened if he didn't take those keys"

"What else Kate, there's more"

There was always more, always that little part of her that blamed herself

She sat back down, tears coated her eyes "what if I didn't try and leave that day" she murmured

"It was stupid of me to take Sam there, I should have waited till someone could mind him.. if I never brought him that day than... Than my son would still he alive and-.."

"And you'd be a different person"

"But I am a different person, I'm angry all the time at him, I'm angry that I'm lying to Buck about him, I moved as far away as I could from that man and he still has a way of worming himself into my life"

Kate took a tissue from the box, she wiped under her eyes "sometimes I feel like I was the worse mother in the world, because the day Samuel was born Adam came into that hospital room smelling like someone was drinking and I chose to ignore it, like I did for every day until there was nothing left to ignore"

"Kate you were in a hard position, you had a son and a partner who had an addiction, you stayed for Sam-

"No, that's what you say to someone who was beaten by their husband every day, he never hit me not until-..

"You tried to leave" Emma finished, her voice was soft almost as if she trying to act as a cushion for Kate to fall on.

Kate blinked, her face expressionless as it dawned on her.

"Kate he may have never hit you, but he wasn't there and from what I've heard he had a tendency to pick alcohol over you and Sam."

Kate couldn't speak, her mind trying to process everything "sorry"

"It's okay, these realizations can be a lot to handle"

"I was never scared of him until that day, I would be angry and we would yell and scream but I never felt like he would hurt me, I knew no matter how drunk he got or how angry he'd be, that he always knew he still had me"

"Kate if you really want to move on from that part of your life, you need to move on from Adam."

"How do I do that?" Kate asked

"Whatever way you feel comfortable doing so"

*

Kate sat in front of her laptop screen, waiting for Adams face to appear. She had to face him and this was the only she could do it.

"Kate" he picked up after seconds "oh it's so good to see you" he sighed

Kate hadn't seen him since she left, she had talked to him of course but she never seen his face. The face that brought back every memory.