Loki's Savior ( loki fanfiction ) [ Lokixreader ]

chapter 17 : haunted by the past

- shush now , it's okay ... it's all going to be ok .
he said running his fingers through your hair while tightly holding you close to him ...
Between Loki's arms you did not feel ashamed to cry , to break down , to be vulnerable and exposed ...
He didn't judge , didn't try to get an explanation or to ask you to stop crying , he just held you tight allowing you to be weak ...
Loki saw himself in you in that moment , his past which still haunts him until that moment ...

- you're welcome to stay here as much you please .
He said with a soft voice , almost whispered it ...
You looked up to him , to his face , he was smiling , it was a sad smile ...
- are this nice with everybody ?
You asked slowly pulling away from him ...
He laughed and avoided your question , said he'll leave you to rest and excused himself out ...
- Loki , wait !
You said , he turned to you standing by the door with a smile on his face ...
- thank you .
- get some rest now .
He said before he closed the door ...

- I have a plan
Said Loki standing before Thor ...
- we can take over this place , I can take the grandmaster down , it's pretty easy ... then , you and I can run this place , together ...
- you can't be serious .
Said Thor laughing ...
- wait , you're not really thinking of going back to Asgard , are you ?
Loki said to Thor , who remained silent ...
- our sister destroyed your hammer like a piece of a glass , she stronger than you , she's stronger than both of us , you don't stand a chance against her ... but here , here , we have a chance to start over , come on , brother .
Loki said before Thor threw a rock on him which went through him ...
- I'm not really here .
He said laughing , said the place was too disgusting for him to be at .
- you know , I understand ... it is you , just like everyone was telling me always , but I always thought of you as my little brother so I guess I was blind to it , gave you too many chances , even after all the times you stabbed me in the back , even after all the times you betrayed me , I never gave up on you ... but now I do ... God ! I should've listened , I should've known , it is your nature , to betray , and now you want to betray the grandmaster for taking you in , it's what you do best and I guess it's your way of saying "thank you " , and now you're going to let your people down too ...
- i guess I'm the devil everyone told you I was .
- you are , you are the worst brother ... ever
Loki and Thor stared at each other quietly for a few moments ...

- You can stay here , it's up to you but you need to get me out of here , let me go and prevent Ragnarok from happening ...
Loki set on the floor , across his brother
- I can not .
- I wonder what mother was going to think of you if she was here .
Thor said disappointed , Loki put his head down looking at the ground ...
- good luck in your next fight .
He said before slowly fading ...

Loki set in his room alone , his tears fell rolling down his face as , his crying was loud and painful , he felt like he couldn't breath , like he was choking ...
He looked at his hands and saw the blood of all the people he killed , all the destruction he made , all the pain and misery he caused , even to those who loved him the most , he remembered the last words he spoke to his beloved mother " you're not my mother " , he felt ashamed and wished if he had a way to fix it , he remembered his father , the cracks that grew between them all along the years , a cracks that finally set them apart , he remembered the look on Odin's face before he was gone , his last words as he looked into his eyes " I love you my sons "
He hid his face between his two hands , like a child who's trying to hide from everything that scares him , from every painful memory , from every tragedy , from all his demons ...
He held himself , trying to calm himself down , pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face between them crying ...
All his bad memories haunted him , swam above his head and reminded him of all the bad things he did , all of them shouting and screaming ...



At evening ....