Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 60: The Visitor

"Thanks...."

*****

Ryan's POV

Taking a deep breath, it shouldn't be nerve wracking to go see him. That's why I was here – worried and set to check in on my friend. However, I couldn't find the energy to make myself move through the doorway quicker to the backyard. He was my best friend. Things were going to be fine and there was nothing to worry about, right?

I couldn't help but smile as I made my way outside, seeing him tossing the ball as the dogs chased after it together. It was amazing to see how well Fletcher and Finn had bonded and so quickly at that. They almost seemed like a pair of brothers who'd been together forever.

The smile faded immediately, as he turned to face me, obviously having heard the door open. It was like the color drained from me as I wondered what he was thinking in that very moment. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"What are you doing here?" He questions, a little more direct than I was hoping for. Like, you know the tone you get if you're unwanted compared to a friend – that's what I felt right now.

"I just got back to town, and thought I'd come see how you were before going to California for the Spiderman premiere," I confess because let's face it, I had no other reason to be here. "Alex said that you were back here with the dogs."

"I'm sorry I didn't text you back or anything." I could see the regret in his eyes, almost wondering if that fueled the reason why he asked as he did. It was like he wasn't ready to face everything yet, and I understood because we all knew what happened.

"Listen, I totally understand and don't fault you one bit. I understand it not being easy to go through what you did and try to work your way throu-"

"It isn't the first time that she's hurt me, and you know that Ryan. There's also the fact that you knew when she hurt me before, and did it again yourself." Ouch. I thought we had moved past that in agreeing to be good friends moving forward, and putting it behind us. But yet here we were once again and the twisting the knife in my gut.

"I told you how much I regret that, and how sorry I am. I also get why it being the reason why you didn't want to reach out to me, which is fine." Let's face it, there were consequences for your actions. Considering Alex told me that he was scared of his own feelings and things changing by what happened, I could understand why I was least priority after everything.

"The thought of texting you, seeing your name in the initial days afterwards was just a reminder of the pain. There was also the fact that I didn't listen to your own warning, which made me feel guilty. I didn't mean to shut you out, but it was just too much pain to face all at once and be thrown in my face." Taking a deep breath, perhaps he wasn't trying to dig the knife in, but rather allow me to see how he was feeling and the reason for the lack of messages. Again, I can't blame him. There was no denying I fucked up.

"It's fine, man. I totally understand. I'm just glad to see that you're doing alright, and moving forward. I'm also glad that I can still call you a friend." At least, I hoped. I mean, considering he was twisting a knife in my gut just moments before I questioned that.

"I told you then – I don't want to lose our friendship because we've been friends too long to let that go." I smile, as that was all I needed to hear today. Well, that and the fact that he was going to be okay.

"But are you sure you're going to be okay?" I couldn't help but ask him directly. It was one for thing for Alex to tell me his thoughts and such, but I needed to hear that assurance from the source himself.

"Some days are harder than others. I find myself questioning a lot of things, some things strange and some things that don't make sense. I find myself wondering if I could strip down again for someone I love – and be comfortable. There's also worry about what happens if she gets awa-"

"She won't, but if she does, I promise to use my light saver on her." It'd be great to see if I could truly act one of those Star Wars heroes.

"Hopefully it doesn't come to that because I wouldn't want to have to bail you out." Fuck. If we were still together, I would fully make this into a flirtatious session but knew that I had to hang back right now on that regard. He had moved forward with Alex, and I wanted to be happy for them together.

"I also don't think Roger Penske would take too kindly to one of his drivers being in jail, either." So I took a different approach. It wasn't fun, but enough to keep the conversation going.

"I don't think that goes with the Penske standard. You may have to switch teams and be teammates with Denny." Excuse me while I go puke in the bathroom right now. "Although you already have it bad with Joey."

"He gets a real bad wrap, but he could never be as bad as Denny, and actually he's not that bad when yo uget to know him." I was origjnally set to avoid both him and Joey, but surprisingly, they were now two of my best friends. I actually was upset when Brad told me he was leaving.

"I knew you were strange Ryan, and that proves it right there man...."