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𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽.
He didn't know what to say. Even though he knew she would understand, there was a slight possibility that she would take it the wrong way. It was hard to word his emotions. Even though she knew he wasn't blunt on purpose, the words would still weigh heavy on her mind. It was like a double-edged sword in his hand.
"I was thinking about...um, the whole situation between us." he cleared the air. She nodded for him to continue, but he wasn't sure if he should. The words were floating around in his mind, but whenever he went to speak, they vanished.
"I can't forgive you yet." he mumbled clear enough for her to hear, "but I want to. It's just...hard y'know?"
She nodded once again before speaking, "I wasn't asking for forgiveness Kenma. If you can't forgive me it's understandable. I'm okay with what we have right now."
She smiled before playing with Mochi, but the smile didn't reach her eyes nor did it match her body language. She wasn't okay with it, but for the sake of keeping Kenma, she would put her feelings behind her. It was fine if they could rebuild the friendship they had before they got together.
"But what if I'm not?" he questioned, making her look back at him. "What if I don't want to be friends?" he played with his fingers before inhaling and calming his breathing before he got too anxious. "What if I said I wanted you to wait until I find it in me to forgive you?"
"Would you wait for me, Y/n?" he was expecting it to come out so bluntly, but it didn't matter. He didn't regret saying it either. She needed to know how he felt about the situation. Even if it wasn't the clearest explanation, it was the best he could do.
The ball rolled over into her court. It was up to her now to decide if she wanted to repeat the past or create a new future.
"Do you think you'll ever find it in you to forgive me?" she questioned. She knew her answer, but Kenma was unpredictable. Just because he said he would, doesn't actually mean he would. He changes his decision based on the person, if she messed up even in the slightest, she'd lose that small chance of forgiveness he was willing to give.
"Do you think you won't hurt me again?"
The question lingered in the air. To say she was shocked at his response was a complete understatement. But she understood. She didn't have the right to be mad.
He deserved an answer and he deserved the truth. Not some half-assed lie that was said just to relieve tension. She couldn't promise all sunshine and rainbows. And she also knew how Kenma felt about her lying and promises overall.
"I'll try not to." she finally answered. It was the truth, she wasn't promising that she wouldn't, and she wasn't saying she was perfect. She was flawed. So, she would try not to break his heart again. She would try to win him over again.
She just wanted to try again.
And Kenma was okay with that. It was an unsure commitment- it was him giving her the benefit of the doubt. But, it was worth a shot.
"As long as you keep your word, I'll keep mine." he shrugged. He didn't have a reason not to. If he- if they wanted it to work, this is what they would have to do. Slow, baby steps.
