Hona Tha Pyaar ✔

32. Kabira

"We can still come to a decision." She encourages, holding my shoulders in her hands.

"How do I settle for anything when I don't want to give up either of them?!"

"You can't have everything in life! You have to learn how to comprise, Turkey. That's the only way this is going to work."

"WHY?! Why can't we have things our way!" I scream out of exasperation, kicking at the pebble near my feet.

"Did Fahad say anything to you?" Baji asks, after a moment of silence.

"He's just a mess as I am." 

"Talk to him. He'll listen to you."

"What do I say when I'm unsure of everything myself!"

"Listen, think of all the ways there are. Weigh down every option. For the both of you. And come up with a decision then."

"It's not easy!" I cry.

"It never is easy." My eyes move to hers, witnessing the clouds of emotion in them. "It never is easy." She repeats, clearly hinting at the decisions she had to make to get married to Dulha bhai.

"I can't." Gripping the railings in a tight grip, I state the obvious.

"You will have to. For the best or for worse." 

~

I suck in a deep breath, ambling into the living room.

For best or for worse.

"Papa," I call softly, gaining his attention. "Can I not go?"

"Where? To the dawat?"

"Nahi--"

"Buri baat, Saira." He clicks his tongue in disapproval. "Fahad itne dil se bola aane ke liyea. It's not good if you won't come with us."

"Main--"

"Waise bhi, this will be our last get together before we fly back home. Jaana zaroori hai, bache." His words stop me from saying anything further, forcing me to swallow my words.

I felt my head spin suddenly of all the weight I've been carrying since Sunday. The two hour sleep, like a cherry on the cake, only added to the rising fatigue. Plopping down on the couch beside him, I lay my head on his lap. Craving any sort of relief or reassurance when his palm caresses my head.

"Saira," I hear Mumma call my name from inside the room just as I shut my eyes. "Come and get your clothes ready for tonight."

"Mumma, I'll wear anything."

"Aysa kaisa anything? Engagement ke baad pehli bar jaare tum Fahad ke ghar. Acha ready ho, bache." 

(It's the first time you're going to their house after engagement. You have to go well dressed.)

"Kiya zaroorat hai ready hone ki! He's seen me at my worst already."

"Tumhare yeich lazypan sr ghussa aata meku, Saira. Ek baat bole to kyu nahi sunre tum? Zaroori hai humesha behes karna?"

(This is what I hate the most about you. Why do always have to argue with me?)

"Mumma mein behes kaha kari? All I'm saying is, I don't feel like dressing up."

"You have to." She stresses, raising her brows for effect. "Ab utho aur tayyar ho. We're leaving in an hour. Bed pe baby pink color ka lawn ka suit rakhi, wo pehno."

(I've kept a baby pink lawn suit on the bed ready for you, wear that.)

"Mumma--"

"Thappard khana hai to kuch bolo. Nahi khana hai, to khamushi se ready hone jao."