𝘉𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘋𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌𝘋 | 𝘈.𝘏. ✔️

• Sixteen

"I don't think I will," you pause and pull your hand back, wiping your tears that fell down on your cheeks. "I like being determined, it gives me a challenge."

Disappointment is spread across her face and body, she sits up straighter with a sigh. You didn't have to take this math class but you chose to because you wanted to be hard on yourself, press your capabilities to the max and do it efficiently. Time isn't what mattered, what mattered is that you did this on your own and proved you simply could. There wasn't a real person to brag about it to other than yourself.

"You're just too hard on yourself. What are you trying to prove? That you're better? We already know that," Sam raises her voice slightly. "And I'd hate to see you sad because you set unrealistic expectations for yourself."

"Because when I get things done, it makes me prideful," you smile sarcastically, "Something you wouldn't understand."

Sam gulps, suddenly looking down at her feet and toying with her hands. A red blush has flushed her cheeks and she is stumbling over her words for a moment. You watch quietly, almost tentatively as you wait for her response. A knot twists in your stomach as you have the urge to apologize but have too much pride to do so.

"I understand buttercup," she queers, "I know what it is like to try to be the best, the most determined, the most reliable."

"How?" you ask.

"I thought that if I did something that was complicated and out of my reach that Mom and Dad would be proud," her voice cracks, "But I couldn't, not without help. They were more disappointed in the fact that I never told them rather than doing it on my own."

"I don't remember that happening," you say, brows furrowed.

Sam was the most secretive child, kind of sketchy when it came to doing things and overall had an endless amount of secrets. You want to pry more, figure out what she did just to prove how she was worth more than a relentless child who was off the rocker. You wouldn't understand what she was going through, being invisible to your parents. It was a shivering feeling that coursed you just thinking about how badly she must be treated for her actions.

"I was with some friends, we did some bad shit and I wanted to fix it. This guy was following us around, we didn't really listen," she cried softly into her elbow, "We went home like nothing happened but he followed me Y/N. I tried to ignore it, thought he was just some creep."

You furrowed your brows, "What did you do Sam?"

"I tried to ignore him," she continues on, "I started getting letters and thought that maybe I could find out who he was, but I couldn't Y/N. I wasn't good enough, I didn't have the skill and my pride got in my way."

You stand up, moving over to sit by here at the other side of the table, suddenly feeling guilty. All of this started over math homework. It was surreal how something so meaningful bloomed from a meaningless conversation. You pull her in to hug her. You guys were so close in age despite her being slightly younger but you could see the pain inside of her eyes, the way he body shakes with sobs. She is your best friend practically and you wanted her to know that you were here, no matter what she did.

"I made a huge mistake, I went after him. All of this because of some vandalism with friends. I got really hurt in the process, getting caught in some deep stuff. There was more to the story than I had originally assumed, I was just pissed off."

"I don't know what you're exactly getting at," you spoke softly, looking her into her tested filled eyes with sympathy.

"Just ask for help Y/N, okay? Big or small just ask. Don't try and break yourself over it."