Yelena Goes to Starbucks

Yelena Belova: ex-assassin, former spy, and arguably the best MCU character there is. In her attempt to get reintegrated into society, she tries to order a coffee at a Starbucks. She is accompanied by Bucky Barnes, who is her coach in this scenario.

The line is a dozen people long. So many people need their caffeine early in the morning.

Yelena leans to the side, looking ahead at the line of people.

"I know what you're thinking," Bucky says to her.

"Just let me knock out a few people, please!" Yelena complains, annoyed at the line.

"You have to wait," Bucky replies. "It's sort of an unwritten rule."

"I hate waiting," Yelena says. She looks ahead again. "But what if we die waiting?"

"Not gonna happen," Bucky says, patiently fielding Yelena's complaints.

The person at the front of the line gets his coffee.

"Yes!" Yelena celebrates. "We move up a spot! Oh, this is great! I can finally—"

"Calm down," Bucky interrupts.

"I AM calm," Yelena responds. "In case you didn't notice, I was using sarcasm. Banner said it makes you more personable."

"Not in this case," Bucky chuckles. "What kind of coffee are you going to get?"

"Black," Yelena answers quickly, already knowing the answer.

"What, no creamer or anything?" Bucky coquets.

"In the Red Room," Yelena explains, "we were on a strict diet. Hardly any sugar passed through my lips. I am not used to it."

"So, no candy or anything?" Bucky replies.

"Yeah, we had candy," Yelena nods. "Grapes, nuts."

"No wonder you're so—"

"Bitter coffee is the only kind that will sit well with me."

"If that's what you say," Bucky shrugs.

"Why, what about you?" Yelena asks. "What kind will you get?"

"Well, seeing as how it's October," Bucky says, "I'm going to get something pumpkin spice. Maybe a latte."

"'Pumpkin spice'?" Yelena repeats.

"Yeah. You'd like it," Bucky says. "Maybe get you to stop being so grumpy all the time."

"I'm Russian, I'm always grumpy," Yelena teases.

Bucky kind of looks down and laughs.

"What? It's true!" Yelena exclaims. "Russians have absolutely no fun whatsoever."

"Clearly," Bucky mumbles.

The blonde woman at the front of the line leaves with her drink, walking towards the exit at the back of the line.

"Bucky," Yelena whispers, "I'm going to steal her drink and we're getting out of here."

"Don't," Bucky responds. "You'd just—"

Before Bucky can finish his sentence, Yelena swipes at the woman, hitting her arm and making her drop her drink.

A dead silence hangs over the Starbucks.

"Don't..." the woman says through clenched teeth, pointing at Yelena, "don't do that again, or the world's greatest archer will make you pay."

"I'll pay," Yelena says, rolling her eyes and holding out her credit card. "Sorry about that."

"World's greatest archer, huh?" Bucky chuckles, holding Yelena's arm down and handing the woman some cash. "How do you know Hawkeye?"

"If only I knew him," the woman says. "No. I'm talking about myself. The name's Kate Bishop. Remember it."

After a few minutes, the mess gets cleaned up, Kate leaves, and everyone's okay. Everyone except Yelena, who is super impatient about waiting behind a line of ten people.

"When will this line move??" She laments, stamping her foot in her impatience.

"It would've moved faster if you didn't karate-chop that woman's coffee out of her hands," Bucky says. "Besides, never give another person your credit card. Just don't."

"Why, would someone misuse it?" Yelena responds both seriously and sarcastically.

"Did you ever have any money or anything to yourself?" Bucky asks.

"Not until I was exposed to the antidote," Yelena answers. "Since then, I have bought exactly one vest, a pair of sneakers, a gun, and a ticket to a baseball game."

"You need a job, that's what you need," Bucky says.

"Maybe if I had a job at this coffee shop, the line would move faster," Yelena says. "I'm so much more efficient than these people!"

"At killing?" Bucky teases.

Yelena throws a punch at Bucky, half-playfully and half-angry at him for his provocative joke. However, Bucky raises his metal arm and Yelena's fist bounces off of it like it's nothing. She shakes her hand
and is visibly hurt, but not totally pained.

"I didn't even punch that hard!" She complains. "Just what are you on?"

"Constant dose of vibranium," Bucky answers, moving his left arm around in circles.

"What is 'vibranium'?" Yelena asks.

"Strongest metal on Earth," Bucky explains. "My arm is made of it. You probably punched harder than you thought you did."

"Well, I AM a trained assassin," Yelena replies.

"What else can you do?" Bucky asks.

"I play a pretty mean game of Monopoly," Yelena says.

Bucky laughs.

"No, I'm serious!" Yelena seems to be mildly offended. "You should play me sometime! We'll get a party going, grab some beers. It would be fun to absolutely destroy you and whatever other Avenger buddies we play with."

"Nah, I'm more of a pinochle guy myself," Bucky says.

"Suit yourself," Yelena responds. "I would have enjoyed to see you cry your little hundred-year-old eyeballs out after I wipe you out with hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk."

"I'm sure you would have," Bucky replies. "You know what? Let's plan it. I'll see if I can't get Sam or Shuri or someone to join."

"Or Risk," Yelena interjects. "I am good at risk. I have always been very good at the whole world-domination thing."

Bucky chuckles awkwardly, not knowing exactly how to respond.

"Dreykov actually had us play it," Yelena recalls. "To teach us the benefit of strategy and planning and to prove that luck sometimes has something to do with victory. High stakes. Winner gets nothing. Loser has to go through a round of hand-to-hand combat with the Taskmaster."

"That's horrible," Bucky murmurs.

"I made it work," Yelena says. "I won. Well, most of the time."

"Forget about it," Bucky tries to be helpful. "It won't do you any good to keep thinking about it."

"If I don't, then who will?" Yelena responds.

Neither says anything for a moment. Then, the person at the front of the line leaves with his drink.

"Nine! More! To! Go!" Yelena celebrates.

It's clear, though, that that line's not going down any time soon.

LMK in the comments what you think and if you want to see more of these Yelena stories. I've written a bunch more and I've posted them on AO3 but can post them here too.