Black as Night (Sirius Black)

Honey Don't Think

"Did you get a count yet, kitten?"

"It's hard to tell where one begins and the other ends," she replied with a laugh. "20 maybe?"

"Something like that."

"Were they all from...?"

"Prison? The neck tattoo was my prison marking. The others I got in my years right after Hog— right after school. Just had it my head I had to be different I guess."

"Are they a language?" she continued, studying the heavy lettered ones. She was so close Sirius could feel her breath against his skin along with the sensuous pressure of her hands as she studied them. It seemed to be a byproduct of her intense studying and not intended to turn him on, but it was having that effect.

"Ancient runes. Nordic, Celtic, the like," he answered. "Sweetheart, unless you want me to have a massive hard-on and sexual fixation in therapy today, I suggest we save your investigation for a bit later, alright?"

Colleen nodded, her tongue licking her lips a little. Sirius caught a whiff of her perfume from the night before, now faded into a deep musk from sex and sleep. He became distracted by the way the burgundy silk clung to the round globes of her breasts and he found himself squeezing them, torturing himself. She was so soft, so feminine, so innocent and sexy at the same time. It would be so easy to call Moody up and cancel for today. Which would all but guarantee that he would show up on Sirius doorstep, all the more motivated to continue. No, Sirius had to follow the protocol. But Colleen Gilmore was making him come undone.

**************

"I heard Remus is leaving tomorrow," Dr. Moody began. "It must be hard to have your main connection to the Order going underground. Are you coping alright?"

Sirius shrugged. "Of course not. But they've somehow managed to find ways to exclude me ever since I returned from Azkaban, so I suppose I should be getting used to it by this point, yes? But I insisted Rhiannon update me on Harry."

"Ah yes— the two subjects I thought best to discuss today. Harry and Rhiannon."

"And I don't want to discuss either. I want to discuss Colleen."

"First things first," Dr. Moody suggested. "Let's start with what is the easiest— Professor Aspenfell's wedding. How did you take the news?"

"I was happy she's happy. I still don't understand it, but it is what it is. If Severus is what does it for her, who am I to question?"

"And with her delivering updates on Harry to you, do you have a plan to discuss her with Ms. Gilmore?"

Sirius fell silent. He'd only thought about mentioning Rhiannon to Colleen in the context of her saving his life, not as an ongoing presence. He'd already picked up on a bit of a jealous tendency in his new partner and he worried it would skyrocket if she met his celestial nineteen-year-old ex. He would have to tread carefully with that one too.

"I plan on making Colleen feel so completely worshipped, valued, and loved that it won't be an issue," Sirius said more confidently than he felt.

"Hmm." The quill went scratching mercilessly along again. "We'll revisit that thought. But on Harry— we've been meeting nearly a month now and you've hardly mentioned him."

Sirius winced. "Because it fucking hurts. I've failed him. I've failed James. The one person who was always there for me when no one else was. I'm the one who suggested Peter be the secret keeper of the Potters' location, instead of me. I had to go and act like I knew better than James did, how to protect his own family. I acted like a rabid animal when they arrested me that day. I made it easy on them to lock me up, away from Harry for twelve years. Then I get out, and for a while I do it right, you know? Checking in on Harry, watching him play Qudditich, help him out with advice for the tournament...taking chances, risk...to make sure he's ok. Then the minute fucking Lord Voldy comes back I cower down and hide in my mother's house, as Snape so charmingly pointed out. His words were gnawing at my brain that day in June— telling me what a useless coward I was. I had just lost Rhiannon to him...I mean JUST lost, when he said that to me, and why not, right? Snape's the hero now. Of course she would choose him."