Step of Faith

Chapter VII: Late night conversations

"Come on, now listen and slowly count," she was still gasping for air.

"I- I didn't s-say anyth-ing," she gasps out.

"Shhh, I believe you. Keep counting," I slowly stroked her hair.

This was all because I believed Ashley and took it out on Blair. It was my fault again. I can never do anything right.

I remembered seeing Ashley at the party yesterday but the interaction was fuzzy thanks to the alcohol I consumed later that night.

Note to self: never drink that much again.

Now I almost cost her the job she earned, cost her the friends she had just made, and caused her an extreme amount of pain.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Blair. I should've let you explain, instead, I blew up for nothing," I was whispering. For her sake or maybe for mine, I didn't know.

Her breathing was slowing down. I was still holding her close to me afraid she'd slip away at any living moment.

"I wouldn't," she cleared her throat, "I wouldn't say anything about you or the other guys. I would never," she shook her head.

"I know. I'm sorry, it's my fault. I'm sorry," I apologized again.

"Don't be, I understand. I would also protect my friends," her voice was slow. Her eyelids fluttered closed and her hands still grasped my fingers.

"Come on, Skates. Bedtime," I picked her up and held her so I could pull back her duvet.

I laid Blair down and tucked her into the bed. She was barely lucid, the panic attack had tired her out.

I brushed the hair out of her face and muttered incoherent apologies to the sleeping girl.

An hour ago I would've said that there is no guilt to feel for how I treated her, now I just wanted to take back every word. Every single fucking word uttered tonight, I wanted to take them all back.

I needed to make this right so I pulled out my phone and texted the coach explaining the whole situation. I was going to take care of Ashley tomorrow.

While Blair's breathing was evening out I decided to not leave her alone for tonight. So I laid down on the couch in her room to be close.

I had taken care of my little sister when she had panic attacks so the technique was too familiar. 

The way her voice broke when she tried to tell me she didn't say anything was still ringing in my mind.

I was trying to rack my brain for all the answers on why Ashley would go to such lengths to ruin Blair's friendships. So I replayed the whole conversation in my mind.

My economics class was complete bullshit. The new substitute had given us directions to write an essay about something completely unrelated to the subject so I had left the class pissed afterward.

But while I was already late and running to practice I bumped into someone. Someone I did not want to see.

"Hey, Gray," her tone was seductive.

"Ashley," I sighed.

"I was just looking for you," she twirled a strand of her hair around her finger.

"I don't have time now-" she grabbed me by the hand.

"It's about your friends."

"My friends?" I questioned her.

"Yes. I thought you would want to know that your new roommate, Blair Ivy, is going around spreading rumors," she picked at her fingernails.

"Ivy? No way."