Please have mercy

Permissions

She woke up without knowing what time it was. The window always offered the same shade of midnight black, constant and infinite. The lights in the room had brightened, offering a fake glow that mimicked a pitiful sunrise. It looked fake, she hated how white it was, there was no warmth at all.

Her body felt sore and aching. She had not moved from where she had fallen asleep, afraid to turn around and see him lying next to her on the other side of the bed. Her stomach was in knots, her mind confused by the surroundings, and the cold room offered no desire to leave the protection of blanket she had found such great comfort in.

Blinking slowly to wake her eyes, finding it difficult to open them completely, she rolled into her back, carefully monitoring the rest of the bed she found empty. He had not slept here at all, the bed was uncrumpled, still perfectly made and undisturbed. But he had come back while she was sleeping. Her red veil was no longer hanging by the corner of the headboard and her stockings had been removed. She had no recollection of her body being moved. She guessed her wedding dress would be gone as well and she hoped she could have it back one day.

Rising to a sitting position, she glanced at the room, making sure it was really empty, before swinging her legs to the side of the bed, clenching onto the cover she kept wrapped tightly around her body. She could feel the uncomfortable dried blood that had stuck to the inner parts of her thigh, mixed with semen that caused her skin to itch as it came off in flakes.

She stood up, supporting herself with the edge of the window, her steps uncertain and warry.

A robot beeped at the notice of motion, the same one she had seen the first day she had arrived, and it rolled outside immediately, leaving her puzzled by his actions.

The first day .

It seemed like so long ago now, the worst had passed, the initial shock of sex would dwindle and she would get used to it. Or so she hoped. It would happen again, that she was sure, but at least she'd know what to expect. At least she'd know that the books and the priests had lied. At least she'd know what he enjoyed for the sake of having children.

As the door closed, the robot rolled away in the hallway, then saw one of the knights standing by her door, feet grounded in a defensive stance, facing forward without turning back to peer inside the room. She had no time to inspect his mask further, trying to remember which one it was before the door shut once more plunging her back in complete silence disturbed only by the constant humming sound of engines.

A bath. She wanted a bath.

Curling the covers around her shoulder, unbothered by her disheveled appearance and the state of the dirtied bed, she walked across the freezing floor to the small room she remembered being the bathroom. Having such a big ship and such lush large quarters had its merits: there was a full bathtub. Fixed to the wall, the metallic tub placed beside the shower stall had a similar mechanic to the ones on Coruscant. She recognized the knobs and started filling it up with warm water, leaving it running as she went back into the bedroom trying to gather some clothes.

As she passed in front of the mirror above the counter, she caught her reflection glaring back at her. She did not look well. Her eyes were red and puffy, dark bags lining her undereye giving the impression that she had not slept at all. Her lips were swollen and her throat felt sore, the corners of her mouth marred with a red bruise that created lines in her skin. Her cheek had a faint purple stain where he had hit her, a perfect match to the jarring blue contusion that formed gruesome bracelets where the veil had been tied.

She could do her best to hide it with makeup and clothes, but some would still be visible and the crew would notice. She didn't know if the supreme leader cared about such things, the opinions others had about his person, or if he simply killed those who dared to comment something out of line. Everyone knew he was violent.