Amongst the Stars

Chapter 14

"You're right." I'm defeated. Of course he's right. "I can't do this. I can't kill, I just don't have it in me." I drop the knife. Fighting is one thing, but I'm not a soldier. I'm not Lillian. I'm useless, I won't be enough. Everyone will figure out I'm an imposter. I am going to die, get someone else killed, or worse. Captain Heroine will kill my brother as punishment. I'm going to fail the one person I'm doing this for. 

So much for proving Anthony wrong... And so much for protecting Mathew......

"Pick up the knife." He sounded angry. Why wouldn't he be? I'm just wasting his time. "I said- Pick. It. UP!"

He stormed over and shoved the knife in my hand. "You're a great fighter and you will make an even better soldier. You just need the right motivation." I couldn't look him in the eyes. 

He doesn't know the truth. Doesn't know I'm not Lillian.

"We still have a hector to figure out what motivates you and I have a pretty good idea on where to start."

"What do you mean?" I finally look up.

He went back to his tablet and changed the setting. We we're in the ships dinning hall. Aliens eating, almost ignored Anthony and I completely. I don't get it. What is he up to?

"You fought your hardest when we were in city's, town's, anywhere with civilians. You fought smarter and used the surroundings." He stated, now smiling. 

"Hey Lillian." Mathew walked up to us. "Any idea why the Captain asked me to help with your training? And why it looks like we're in the dinning hall?" Its not Mathew, its Jordan, and he's still important to me. A reminder of why I'm doing this and my 'space brother'. Something I've come to terms with during my time in the M.M.I. 

"Jordan right?" Anthony asked. "I needed you here for some motivation." Anthony's hands turned into claws. 

"No!" I shoved Jordan out of the way as I realized what he meant. He grazed my arm but I can't focus on that now. "You're not laying a finger on him." 

I dropped the knife when I pushed Jordan out of the way. It now lay at Anthony's feet. 

He kicked it to me. "Just to make it fair."

"Jordan, get out." Anthony had all of my attention.

"I can't! I don't know where the door is." Jordan said. 

I hate it when that happens, unless its open the door blends into the simulation.

Anthony moved first, went straight for Jordan who was patting down the wall trying to find the door.

I threw the knife, cutting deep into Anthony's calf. While he was on one knee I tried to restrain him. Quickly throwing me off, he pulled out the knife and threw it out of my reach. He was fighting with full force. I barley dodged his attacks, jumping tables, I even threw  chair at him. Armed with a food tray I fought back. He tried to gut me with one hand and swung with the other. I ducked and used the tray as a shield, one of his claws now stuck  in the tray. I landed hit after hit to the chest and one on the throat.

I see the knife! I leg sweep Anthony before he can recover and run to the knife. Just as I grab it Anthony's arms wrap around me and squeeze. 

"Ahh!!" I parts of my body pop painfully in ways I don't think it should. I throw my head back  and heard a crunch. He lets go of me instantly. He's holding his broken nose leaving himself open. I shove my knife deep into his gut and push it up. 

He fell on his knees, head down, bloody and beaten. I pull the knife out, lift his head and go for it. Before my knife could make contact his NOSE SHOOTS OUT OF HIS FACE AND JABS ME IN THE EYE!!!!!

"OWW!!!" I use my hands to cover my eye out of instinct.

"I said not the HEAD!!!" Anthony yelled.

"YOU TRIED TO ATTACK MY BROTHER!!!" I yell back.

"ITS NOT REALLY HIM!!!"

The simulation powers down. Who I thought was my space brother was just a training droid. Jordan wasn't here. He's never was. 

I fall to my knees and pray. Everything I just did fresh in my mind. 

Oh my God! Please, please forgive me. I let anger consume me. I almost did something unforgivable. I nearly killed an innocent soul. I fell victim to the temptation of anger. Became a victim to deceit, my trainer almost paid that price with his life. I am so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a simulation. Please forgive me, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I really thought my brother was in danger. I can only hope that you can forgive me of the grave sin I nearly committed.

Amen

"Lillian!" A1 rushed to me and inspected my bleeding arm and other wounds.

"I will be fine. Its mostly bruises." I say as A1 helps me up. I take it back, everything hurts. I'm not telling A1, but I'm pretty sure at least one of my ribs is broken. 

"This is unacceptable. This is supposed to be training, not fighting for your life. This level of injury should not be accepted and as Lillian's P.A.I.R. I refuse to allow this to happen again." A1's eyes looked to be red as he stared Anthony down, but that could just be the blood in my eye. 

"Don't get your bolts in a twist. She said she would be fine." Anthony's nose was almost back to normal. I know bryn heal fast but that's just not fair. 

"You may be done healing in a few hectors, but Lillian has sustained injuries that will need at least 1 maroon worth of recovery time." A1 practically carried me to the door. "She will miss your next training session for obvious reasons."