𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 ━━ 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩

lila

Lila sighs and says "You have this strong bond with dad now that we don't have. It-"

I scoff and say "You don't get to talk about shit you don't know."

She shakes her head and says "You weren't blipped. You enjoyed your life. You had longer with Auntie Nat." I scoff and wipe at the tears falling down "I had no one. I was 16 years old chasing after dad for a year. He was abandoning me at every chance given. All I ever wanted in those 5 years was my family. He cried to me about how all he wanted was our family back. I was his shoulder to cry on. I had to take care of him. When all I ever wanted was to be loved and not be alone. He left me alone...He ran and abandoned me. The dad you have is not the one I remember. I wouldn't call our bond something you want. Nat was there. Nat's always been there. She's been the only one to truly stay with me. To endure my havoc i cause everywhere. She loved me... So please don't tell me life was fucking easy and that you lost Nat too. She was everything to me and I don't know how to go on. I don't know who to turn to for advice. I don't know how to breathe without ptsd making me feel like I'm going to die. My life is not rainbows and happiness. That's your life Lila. Get a grip."

Lila says "I had no part in that. I didn't. You can't push me and mom and the others away because you miss Natasha. It isn't fair. We miss you! We miss the sister who would take us to the movies and actually love us.."

I huff and say "You're naive. All I've ever given you is love. I love too hard. It's known. And all it's ever done for me is tear me apart. I can't love again. It hurts to badly to lose the one person who actually understood me."

"Dad is hurting just as much as you are." Lila says

"Dont invalidate my grief. I knew her just as long as he did. She was a focal point throughout my life. I looked forward to the days I'd see her again growing up like holidays. She trained and taught me everything. Dad lost his best friend but I lost my mentor, best friend and second mother all in one. Dad just... Don't defend him. He was the adult! He was my only living relative I had left and he abandoned me! I comforted him and put my grief and pain on hold for him!"

Lila shakes her head and says "We need you now... you're our big sister and you're supposed to help us through these kind of feelings. I can't even explain to Nate that Nat isn't coming home. That she isn't just on mission."

I shake my head and say "I can't help you with those type of feelings because I don't know how to even help myself. I don't know how to accept that she isn't coming home. Because the one person I would ask how to get through this from is her! And she's gone! I don't know how to navigate now so just leave me alone!!"

I walk away dropping my hearing aid and stomping down on it. I throw my leg over my motorcycle and speed away. I enter the house quickly and my mom calls out "Mac?" I slam my bedroom door shut immediately. Laura sighs and says "My sweet girl.." My hand runs over the fabric of the vest as I sob into my pillow.

"Please, just come home. Please."

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2019:

I sit on the bench in Mexico City as I stare at the ground. He left me. He abandoned me.

Why would he leave me? I'm the only family he has left. Why would he leave?

I shake my head and look to the empty bag beside me. He took everything. I have no suit, no weapons, nothing.

I hear a car approaching and I look up for a brief second. A gray Audi comes to a quick stop. The door swings open quickly and Nat runs towards me. "Mac!"