A lot of people found it weird that Parker was the only girl in her group, but to the four guys, she's always been one of the guys without a dick.
"Let's... let's take Billy's trip. Come on, guys, what do you say?"
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"I was a Boy Scout. Tom, you were a Boy Scout, weren't you?" Jerry asks.
"No. But I ate a brownie once. It was was from Parker's Girl Scouts troop." Tom puts an arm around me.
"You don't wanna play in the big river, boys. Especially with your lady friend." He tells us and Dan steps up but then Tom does.
"I got this. You listen to me. I know a thing or two about rapid-riding. Because I was a white-water guide in Northern California, No Cal. Here's the thing. I know how to read a river better than you can read a book." Tom tells him making me grab his arm.
"Tommy." I growl at him as we get in the car. "You are ridiculous. I know how stupid you are but really?" I hit him as we drive off.
"She's right. The sheriff, Tom?" Jerry agrees.
"Thanks for saying what you said to Rick even though it was stupid of you." I whisper to Tom.
"I meant it when I said treating my girl bad." He whispers back.
"Tom, you said our girl, not my girl." I laugh.
"Right... I think he would've thought you were cheating on him with me so I didn't say that." He explains.
"No, now he thinks I'm cheating him with three guys. Much better." I pat his leg.
"Sorry." He shakes his head. "
Hey, Jerry. I'm sorry Denise didn't take you serious with the whole treasure hunt thing." I tell him. "
You heard the part about her and the Lost City of Atlantis?" He looks back at me.
"Yeah." He just gives me a sad smile.
So we meet with the guy giving us the canoe. "Do you think we have enough booze Tom?" Dan asks as he loads up the canoe. "Maybe you wanna hire a bartender to come on the trip with us." Dan adds.
"I'll do that. I was a bartender too before teaching." I put an arm around them each.
"What's a camping trip without beer?" Tom makes a point.
"Well it's still a camping trip actually just with less vomiting." Dan tells us.
The guy giving us the canoe asked Tom about was class he is for being a river guide and I realize Tom had no clue what he was talking back. "Lie to me. I don't care. I'm not the one who's going to drown." He tells Tom.
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Jerry makes a speech then brakes a beer bottle making the guy mad. "Thanks for breaking glass where my kids play." Jerry just ohs as we all get in the canoe.
"There's a transmitter in the canoe. That way, if you guys disappear, at least we'll get out boat back." He tells us as we row away.
"That's great to hear." I sigh.
"Tom what kind of fish is that?" They ask him.
"Brown trout." He looks at them.
"Hey look a deer. Right out in the open." Dan points out and it growls making me laugh while it freaks Dan out.
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As we canoe I head Dan slapping himself so I look back to see Tom messing with him. He smiles at me while I shake my head. "Damn Dan, calm down with the bug spray." I cough.
"You two are in front of him! I'm behind him." Tom coughs.
Soon we all share a beer then afterwards the guys had to pee. "I really don't wanna see. Ans don't you guys play because I don't wanna get piss on me!" I shout turning the opposite direction from them.
"Tom! You guys are spraying me!" Dan complains.
"Give me a break I'm writing your name." Tom tells him.
"Can you three pee any faster?" I complain. "We're done." They all sit back down.
"Hey, don't, don't, don't." Dan tells Tom after he splashed him.
"What, you gonna melt?" Tom asks.
"No, but this water is teeming with microbes." Dan says so Tom starts more then Jerry starts then I join.
"So this is Spirt River. We take that to Widowmaker Bend. And then we hike the Devil's Staircase, and that should lead us to the top of Hellfire Ridge." Jerry reads the map.
"What's with all these Satanic names? Isn't there, like, a Fluffy Bunny Way?" Dan asks.
"No, but there's a Shut-up-you-big-baby Ridge." Tom tells him.
"Tom." I look back at him to shut him up.
"Just keep your eyes open for our first day's maker. It's a rock formation called Grandpa's Nose." Jerry tells us and Dan points it out so we get out there.
"Prepared to port. I'm gonna drink some beer!" Tom says as we get out.
