Leave me (a Severus and Edward friendship fanfic)

Chapter 9- Miracles

"That would indeed solve this particular problem," I allowed.

"However...." Severus muttered through his teeth; he was already losing his patience with me.

"I do not want to tell him until it is absolutely necessary; it is an incredible burden for a fifteen year old to bear."

Severus sighed and approached my desk, his hands now resting on the back of the chair standing opposite me. "Dumbledore, he will find out sooner or later. You know as well as I do that the Dark Lord's sole focus is on that damned prophecy! I need not remind you of what happened to Arthur Weasley," he hissed scathingly at me. "If you are correct, which I am certain you are, then the Dark Lord will use his connection with Potter again for ill this time. No matter how diligently I watch over him- no matter how much I teach him- he will be easy prey for an accomplished Legilimens such as Him. If Potter knew the truth perhaps he would be more motivated to practice, and my time would not be entirely wasted!"

"You are absolutely right, Severus," I stated for I could not disagree with him. I then rose from my chair; I sensed Professor Snape would be leaving my office shortly.

I watched Severus' eyes follow me as I walked towards him.

"And yet, you still aren't going to tell him?" he demanded, clearly livid with me.

"Correct," I sighed.

"Why? Why must you insist that I waste my time- why are you refusing to tell the boy what he needs to know? How difficult is it to tell him: 'Don't bloody believe everything you see in your dreams'? He has not fooled me; I know he is still having nightmares about the Dark Lord every night. You are indulging him, Dumbledore!"

"I am well aware of it, Severus, and please keep your voice down," I requested, my voice firm but polite.

As I expected, Severus pushed past me and stood near my door ready to leave my presence.

"I hope you do not regret this, Albus. You may not agree with me, but in this situation, knowledge is power. You are intentionally leaving him in the dark- you are risking our future and everything we have worked towards because you don't want to upset or scare him," he accused me, as he glared at me from the door. "Sometimes I truly despise Gryffindors and everything they claim to stand for; you're no braver than the rest of us," he finished, wrenched open the door, and slammed it shut behind him. I cannot pretend his parting words did not affect me- they did, and I have been thinking of almost nothing else since.

Indeed knowledge is power, but it is also a curse- an experience I am far too used to. I wanted Harry to have all the knowledge, all the power, and none of the curse. But such a hope is impossible- such is the nature of knowing everything. I still could not convince myself that now was the time to inform Harry of his fate; I had managed to avoid it for four years, so what was another 12 month's delay going to do? But my excuses were all but extinct; Severus was right and he knew it; I was simply too cowardly- too soft- too caring to move forward with my plan. I have struggled with this since Harry first arrived at Hogwarts and had his first experience with Voldemort, but never as intensely as I did now.

I forced a deep breath into my lungs as a tear slid down my left cheek. As I said: Knowledge is a curse, and I would not wish it on anyone, especially a 15 year old boy. I was afraid that the knowledge would destroy him- destroy his spirit- his hope- his spark. I could not bear to observe such a thing. And yet, what perhaps scared me more was that he would reject the role altogether- that he would refuse to believe me- or turn into the selfish person I had only ever seen in my overwrought imagination. I could not risk either until Tom forced my hand. I was not sure which was most likely: that Tom never use his connection with Harry again, that the boy would become more proficient at Occlumency, or remain safe for the conceivable future. It did not matter; I would be willing to accept any outcome as long as Harry remained safe; Merlin knows our world needs him to be alive and well.