Like We Used To

Two

When was the last time Lovely set foot in a hospital? She sighed. It was probably when she delivered food for hospitalized CS. 

Lovely rubbed her eyebrows and stared at the two-way mirror of the Intensive Care Unit, at Papang. He was still unconscious. If there weren’t a lot of hospital equipment around him, Lovely would think that he was just sleeping at home, enduring no pain at all. According to the nurse she had talked to, Papang was asleep because of all the medicine they gave him. When the medicine wears off and he wakes up, she can go inside the ICU. All she had to do was wait. Lovely is a very patient person but she can’t wait. She wanted Papang to wake up now. 

This is the first time that Papang was hospitalized. Lovely winced at the thought that she could take other people to hospital with no problem, just not her own father. But this is not the right time to beat herself for the things she cannot do. She needs to strategize and focus on the things she can do now that she is there.

First, reconcile. 

Second, reconcile. 

Third, reconcile. 

But how?

She went straight to the hospital from the airport. She didn’t know who was staying with Papang right now, knowing that people are probably at work at this hour. And if Papang needed to stay longer in the hospital, then she could also stay with him and have her luggage with her. 

Lovely thought about transferring Papang to Mactan Air Base Hospital since it's around Visayas but she dismissed the idea immediately. She wasn’t knowledgeable about the air base hospital’s medical services and facilities available, especially now that she still didn’t know Papang’s condition. It might be best for Papang to stay here. After all, Allen is here. Jim is here. 

She sighed. A lot of people care for Papang here but she needs to stop relying on them too much. She would hire a caregiver and house help before she went back to Mactan.

Lovely was jolted away from her thoughts when someone touched her arm. It was Jim. She loosened a relieved sigh that it was only Allen’s brother. She hasn't seen Allen yet—thankfully. He must be still at their barangay office, attending to his duties as the current Barangay Captain. 

She smiled at Jim. She had always been fond of him and they had maintained a good relationship over the years. She was only older than Jim by three years but Jim believed that she would be his sister-in-law, even when his Manong Allen and Lovely broke up. “Kumusta ka,'To?” 

“Okay lang, Manang,” Jim returned a brief smile that assured Lovely that everything was really fine; that everything will be fine. Jim wouldn’t smile at her if Papang was in a bad condition. 

“Thank you, ha? If you didn’t check on Papang, nobody would know that something bad had happened to him.” Allen would know, but it would have been too late then. 

“Wala kaso, Manang.” Jim said.

Lovely heaved a sigh and checked her wristwatch. It’s already 1300 hours and past lunch. No wonder her stomach was rumbling. Her last meal was dinner last night. “Kakaon ka na, 'To?” 

“Hu-o 'Nang, bag-o lang gid ko katapos kaon. You should go grab something to eat. I’ll stay with Uncle.” 

Lovely was already nodding when Jim added, “Manong will also come by later.”

“Okay,” she answered casually and tapped Jim’s shoulder when she saw the obvious disappointment on his face. Clearly, he was anticipating a different reaction from her. 

Jim didn’t need to know that deep inside, Lovely was tensed as hell. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that Allen still affects her in any way because she knows that he would describe her reaction—in minutest detail—to Allen. Besides, it’s inevitable she would see Allen. There’s no need to stress herself with things she can't control.