[✓] serendipity, yang jungwon

INTERLUDE: dear sunghoon/love, yuri

Dear Sunghoon, 

It's been a couple of days since my last entry. I've decided I can't be bothered to write the date, I don't need to be constantly reminded of my exact worst days whenever I look through this pathetic pink diary (or journal, whatever you wanna call it). 

I saw Jungwon at school today, Hoonie, he looked the same. Handsome. Breathtakingly cute. Like he was built by hand by the Gods. I bet Jungwon could easily part the Pacific Ocean with his bare hands. I wanted to go sit beside him and forgive him, but I don't give out any second chances. I guess that's clear from my past failed relationships; with my mom, with Saem and. . With Do-Yun. 

I don't like talking about Do-Yun that much. She was a big part of my life until she wasn't. She made stupid choices, she spoke stupid words that still make my heart hurt. Just thinking about her makes me feel the pain I felt when I was fifteen and listening to Do-Yun talk about me to her other friends, I can still feel the rage I felt at that time. I can still remember throwing my books at Do-Yun. I can still remember calling her nasty names, I can still remember crying in the principles office. 

I bet if you saw me then, Sunghoon, you wouldn't want to be my friend. 

When I was fifteen, I had the worst year of my life. I thought nothing could get any worse than that year, but this year is giving it a run for its money. Last year was bad too, I dated Saem and found out I could never ice skate competitively again, but still, nothing can replace the emotions I felt when I was only fifteen years old. 

I feel like the only good thing this year was meeting you. Meeting ENHYPEN. (And Jungwon, but just writing his name and thinking of him makes me want to cry). 

Do you think I could meet Tomorrow X Together? 

(You don't have to say yes, I just want to meet Soobin and hug him.)

Anyway, school was okay, aside from seeing Jungwon in most of my classes, aside from seeing Do-Yun talk with Jungwon. I was able to hang out with my friends and at least smile. I was able to forget about my mommy issues at school. But, it all came back when my dad was late to pick me up again. He's spending more time with my mother, I don't know why and I don't want to know. 

Sunghoon, whenever she comes over I stay in my room. I can't see her again. She ruined my life and no one seems to understand that. Sometimes, I feel like even you don't understand that. She handed me my first love, she was there to support me, but then she left me when I was thirteen. When I was beginning to mature, when ice skating was becoming more competitive. I needed her Sunghoon, I needed her badly, but she left me without a second thought. Without looking back. 

Oh, it's dinner time. 

I notice how short these entries are, but I don't have much to say. I'll probably text you after dinner, so wait for me. 

Love, Yuri.