Chapter 12 - Anxiety

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TW: Anxiety attack

Over the years Regulus had always suffered with anxiety and it only got worse as he got older and expectations got higher and with schoolwork and his parents constantly on his back about what he should and shouldn't do it was quite a stressful time for the teen. It had always been Sirius who had calmed him down and it wasn't any different now apart from the fact that his brother was in gryffindor and he was in Ravenclaw. Regulus hadn't had an attack in a while and he had high hopes for his 4th year. Regulus' last attack had been in the Christmas holidays of 3rd year when his parents had talked to both brothers about the dark mark and getting back their honour of the noble and ancient house of Black. Of course that had ended in a massive argument with lots of yelling and Regulus went to hide in his bedroom but couldn't block out the angered yells of Sirius or the disbelieving screeches of his mother. Sirius had come upstairs to find his brother curled in the corner of his room shaking with his hands over his ears. Regulus' attacks had only ever been at home so when he had one at school everyone was shocked to say the least.
It was a crisp winter evening and Regulus was patrolling the grounds trying to clear his head from the stress of end of year exams. They were nowhere near as big as OWLS or NEWTS but he still studied hard and worried about what mark he was going to get. Being in Ravenclaw was bad enough for his parents, at least not hufflepuff, and they didn't want a son that failed exams. Regulus had finally decided to walk back to the common room but as soon as he got in he felt as if the walls were closing in on him and all the books strewn across the floor, from studying students, just reminded him of assignments that he hadn't done yet and that made him panic. He had so much to do and so little time to do and as he thought this the familiar tightness of his chest alerted him to the fact that he was about to have an attack and it was probably best to get to Sirius. His brother was one of the only people who could calm him down and his friends helped as well. Regulus originally thought that James Potter didn't have it in him to be kind but he had seen a different side of him when they were visiting the Potters during 2nd year Christmas holidays. Remus Lupin was always the kind one so of course he helped but Pettigrew was pretty useless and ended up crying himself which really didn't help the situation at all.
Regulus went up to his dorm thinking that maybe for once he would be able to get through the panic attack by himself but it really didn't work and he felt awfully lightheaded and dizzy and couldn't really think about anything else apart from all the homework he had piled up and Homs ugh he had to do. He vaguely heard the dorm room door open but didn't really register it until someone was next to him and shaking his shoulder.
"Reg!" Harlow Quirke, Regulus', friend yelled at a complete loss of what to do as he had never see his friend in a state of complete disarray before.
It was quite a sight as Regulus was usually cool, calm and collected and level headed about everything so as more people piled into the dorm room shock was evident on everyone's faces.
"Sirius," Regulus muttered and Harlow looked up and found a first year standing there confused by all the commotion and looking very much like a deer caught in headlights.
"You go get Sirius Black from the gryffindor common room," Harlow said desperately trying to calm his friend down.
The first year nodded and ran off pushing past people.
Regulus felt as if his head was imploding as he curled up trying to shut out light and noise and trying to stop thoughts from swirling round his head but to no avail. The dizziness was going away and his brain was beginning to fog up and all he wanted was Sirius. He felt so stupid that he hasn't gone to see Sirius at the first signs of an attack coming on but that was his stubbornness for you to find a way to do things in his own. He could sense people around him and curled up even more and scoffed back into a corner trying to make himself as insignificant as possible.
Lily Evans had scrambled into the portrait hole with a scared looking first year looking worried.
"Black it's your brother this first year wants to tell you something," Lily exclaimed and Sirius looked up from his game of exploding snap concern on his face and Remus' brow creased as well.
"What happened to him?" He demanded and the first year looked like he was about to faint.
"He I- I don't know he- he was shaking and stuff," The first year muttered and Sirius swore and Lily sent him a disapproving glare but he couldn't care less.
"It's Reggie he's having an attack," He his friends then proceeded to run off the first year following.
Sirius literally pushed anyone in his way and clambered the stairs quickly before finally reaching the Ravenclaw tower but the stupid thing was trying to get him to answer a riddle and he was getting increasingly more frustrated and agitated. The first year answered the riddle and Sirius jumped through the portrait hole and up to the boys dorms.
"Outta my way!" Sirius demanded pushing aside people and sending them away from the pitiful form of his brother.
It felt like an eternity but Regulus was finally in the comforting arms of his older brother but he was still panicking and his breathing was still rapid. Sweat had gathered on his forehead and Sirius gently brushed the sweaty hair out of his face and whispered comforting words into his ear.
Regulus finally came to when Sirius whispered to him that he would always be there for him.
"Siri," Regulus whispered.
"Yeah?"
"They were all watching me and probably think I'm some sort of freak," He whimpered and the last of the people scurried out of the dorm room and Regulus collapsed into his brothers embrace.
"Hey it's alright you can have a sleepover with me and the boys in the gryffindor common room if you want and we can play exploding snap just don't singe your eyebrows off again," Sirius said and Regulus chuckled mother had not been pleased when he had signed his eyebrows over the holidays and had taken his pack of exploding snap cards away from him for not looking aristocratic enough.
"Alright," Regulus hiccuped voice still tight with tears as Sirius helped him up.
"Right Reg grab some pyjamas and whatever else and we shall be on our way," Sirius said and Regulus grabbed his things while Sirius tugged him out the dorm room while some first years just stared while the older years rolled their eyes.
It was common knowledge that the two Black brothers were extremely close and frequently had sleepovers with all the friends. First years always stared as they thought that no one from another house was allowed in the others common rooms so they all had looks of confusion written on their faces.
"See you tomorrow Harlow," Regulus called to his friend.
"Don't drink too much firewhisky," Harlow called back while Regulus rolled his eyes and Sirius smirked.
"I'm the responsible one," Regulus a smirk of his own on his face and Sirius gasped in mock hurt while Harlow chuckled.
Sirius gave him an offended look and Regulus laughed forgetting all about his anxiety he had before but made a promise to himself to ask Remus for help with some of his is assignments tomorrow. Regulus didn't have many friends of his own, a select 1 or 2, but Sirius' mates always let him join in their conversations and didn't look down in him. He always enjoyed the sleepovers with the marauders as they always ended up pranking someone or other and that was deeply amusing. They always stayed up late playing exploding snap, eating sweets and generally having a good time. From the last sleepover Lily Evans had got a photo of Sirius dancing on a table a cup of something that looked suspiciously like firewhisky in his hand, Remus rolling his eyes in the corner but had a small smile on his face, James with a tie around his head making his hair stick up and he was lip syncing to a song,  Marlene laughing and Regulus had a horrified expression on his face as Sirius tried to get him to dance as well. All in all the sleepovers were pretty chaotic but Regulus loved them and his crazy bunch of friends and family.
My updating schedule of this story will be every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Please send ideas if you have any
~ Hazel

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