how to disappoint your parents 101

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─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

"Grandpa Tony says that Daddy is talking to the mean man." Ben says to May. "What do you think he's saying?"

"I don't know . . . but I hope Aunt Paige whacked him upside the head real good!"

"I know Aunt May did, that's for sure. So did Pepper."

"Aunt Paige!" the two yell excitedly, turning around to where Paige was walking up behind them. They'd been playing in the hallway just outside their bedroom door in the Compound. It was a joint room, one side for May and one for Ben and a bathroom in the middle. They were smaller bedrooms but had enough room for toys and Legos and books and anything else Tony would cave and buy for them, claiming that it wouldn't even be considered a dent in his bank account.

"Did you whack him upside the head real good?" May asks.

"Does he have brain damage?" That's Ben.

"So many questions!" Paige exclaims with a grin.

"But did you?"

"Well, he doesn't have brain damage," Paige assures. "Well, not yet, anyway . . ." she adds, muttering to herself.

"What?"

"Nothing!" she says quickly.

The two look suspicious, but take the answer. For not being Peter's kids biologically, they sure did have his levels of intelligence.

"So did you whack him 'side the head?" May asks again. "Really good?"

Paige laughs. "Sure did. And I'm pretty sure Yelena broke his nose."

Ben yells woah, awesome while May says ew, gross.

"What's the bad man want?" May asks.

"Yeah! Why are the 'vengers beatin' him up?"

Paige sighs. "They're not beating him up." she explains. "He's getting interrogated. He's in custody."

"Oh, I've read about that." May says.

"And I've seen it on one of Aunt May's bad cop shows." Ben says. crinkling his nose. "I don't know how she watches those . . ."

"Not all cop shows are bad," Paige says defensively. "Some crime shows are good. But I personally like the ones that have ghosts and monsters and stuff."

"Like Supernatural?" Ben asks. "I walked in on Daddy watching it once."

"Oh, Peter and I love us some Supernatural."

"Who's your favorite character?"

"Dean for sure."

"What about Daddy?"

"Hmm . . . probably Cas, honestly. And Uncle Rhodey's favorite is Bobby. But don't tell him I told you."

Ben chuckles. "What about Grandpa Tony?"

"I dunno. I've never asked him."

"What about-"

"Why'd you say they when you were talking about the 'vengers?" May cuts in seriously. "Why not just say us or we?"

"Well . . ." Paige says slowly. "I'm not exactly . . . I'm not officially an Avenger."

"But Daddy is!" May cries. "And so is Uncle Rhodey and Auntie Nat and Pepper and Yelena and you go on 'vengers missions with them all the time!"

"I'm filling in for your dad," Paige explains. "Until he can come back to work."

"What does Daddy do for the 'vengers anyway?" Ben asks, then gasps. "Are you two . . . superheroes? That's so cool!"

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