XXPLOSIVE

I Think We're Alone Now

"Mom?"

"Chloe, I-"

2004

"Marshall, what the fuck? Why did you call her up?" Her voice boomed in the room.

"When did you get back? I didn't even hear you!" I kept the phone down whispering a "call you later" to Lisa.

"Not important, and not what I asked you. Why were you talking to her?" She crossed her arms and stood right in front of me.

"I was just telling her about your problem because she-"

"-she can add to it?"

"Are you out your mind? Why would you fucking mother do that?"

"SHE WAS THE ONE WHO HELPED IT WORSE IN THE FIRST PLACE! AND YOU'RE ON TO ME TOO!" Her voice went up several octaves and she threw down the keys in her hands.

"DON'T FUCKING SHOUT AT ME! WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT HUH?"

"Hey Chloe? Are you and daddy fighting again?" A tiny voice spoke from the hallway. Fuck.

Chloe took a deep breath and signaled me to wait there. She went out and I could hear a couple whispers.

"Everything's okay..", "...daddy and I are just a little upset", "..do you wanna go.."

I heard both Hailie and Lainie say love you to Chloe and both of them walked in to give me a hug. Chloe signaled me that they were off to Kim's. I nodded solemnly and smiled at them.

"Be good aight?" I patted their heads.

"You and Chloe be good too, okay daddy? Don't fight, please," Lainie said softly as she looked at me and Chloe.

"We promise we won't, baby. Go get ready. Have fun with mom."

They both ran up to their room to get ready.

"I'll let Kim know. I'll drop them off at 5." Good, I can have some Valium and dissappear in the studio till then. Talking to her is pointless.

I nodded looking away and picked up the car keys on the floor.

"And to answer your previous question, 
"You're a pill junkie, Marshall. You already don't care about your children. Why would you care for me? Forget me, you're not talking care of yourself. How do I trust you?"

"Of course I care for all of you." I replied looking sideways.

"And for yourself?" I stayed quiet.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You don't fucking care for us either then. We'll talk when you do."

I'm fuming but inside, I feel like a balloon popped with a needle. I know she knows I'm abusing all that Valium and Ambien, but I want to. It's helping with the album as well as sleep. Plus, it comes in handy when this bitch gets all crazy like this.

"And what about you? You're a raging anorexic, you whore."

"Oh I'm a whore now too? Good to know Marshall, thank you so much, truly." She said, sarcasm dripping from each word that left her mouth.

"Yo, what's your exact problem? Don't you recognize you have the same issue as me? Why you tryna be all preachy?"
It was her turn to keep mum and stare at the floor.

"See!" I kept my volume low and quietly shut the door.

"Okay, I admit it. I'm equally fucked up. But atleast I'm not losing sense of my surroundings. You on the other hand.... fuck it. This isn't the right time to talk about it." She said eventually as I cocked my eyebrows for a reaction.