Second (History Plays, Book 1)

13: to live in grief and baleful discontent

Gaveston

"A simple trail hike. An hour walk. In the woods, with maps, intended to follow colorful dots on the trees and read simple history facts from pamphlets. And what do all of you do? Hmm?"
"I think we broke Dean Alleyn," Edward whispers.
"You think?" I mutter. We are seated in the auditorium, on Monday morning. Emergency assembly to address our general inability to function. Breakfast was ten minutes short as well, and I had to quit eating early. But at least I'm not on a stage in front of a room full of teenagers, looking like a three times divorced alcoholic who spent last night praying for his student population to be struck down with hellfire.
"Disappear. Every last one of you. For seven and half hours. Only to show up, with wounds of sexual natures—,"
I think I'm the only person in the upper classes without a hickey, that's significant. I have no regrets. Edward tasted phenomenal. It's not like I didn't find him a bandage to wear this morning. Stop looking at me like that. We were trying to break a world record.
"—hours later, with different people than you were buddies with. Let's see, what are the worst offenses, ah yes—public nudity. Defacing national forest land. Running when we attempted to catch you. Hmm, more public nudity. Assaulting a state trooper. Climbing protected trees. And one person, who we found kissing a classmate while holding a rusty sword."
"That was sick, I can't believe they took it," Teddy. I was among the people to find Teddy, and when we did, he was soaked to the skin, freezing, but holding Pippa in a dip, while kissing her, and holding a rusty sword, the two of them silhouetted against a still black lake that shone in the evening sun. I mean, it was definitely really neat, but really. He was freezing. I gave him my shirt, and Edward carried him home on his back, while I carried Pippa on mine.
"I should never have to say this but here it goes. If you are handed a map, and told to follow the color coded dots. And read history facts. Then you are to follow the map, following the dots, and reading history facts. You are NOT to engage in sexual activities in the woods. You are NOT to leave the trail. You are DEFINITELY not intended to attempt to infer any sort of code, cypher, or secret message from this very, very straight forward map. You are NOT to run when people tell you to go back to the school. You know who we are. You know what our voices sound like. The phrase 'return to Rose and Swan Academy at once' will never be used to kidnap you. And above all else, we here at Rose and Swan are NEVER going to give you educational materials that will in any way shape or form direct you to dive into a lake in search of a rusting sword!"
"Do you think he's mad at me?" Teddy asks.
"Nah, he's always like this," Edward says.
"It will displease you to know that, yes, I have spoken to Piers Gaveston. And he will NEVER again be removing any article of clothing upon request EVER again. It does not matter if you offer to pay him. I will ensure he is paid more to keep his clothing ON. He has been instructed that no matter how many of you leap into freezing cold lakes, require tourniquets, or offer him large sums of money, he will NOT be removing his clothing, namely his shirt, nor will he reject offers of clothing because he feels bad for you. You are fine. We have spoken about this before and chanting to get that one individual to disrobe is sexual harassment and it needs to stop."
"You do need to stop starting those chants," Teddy tells Edward.
"They're funny," Edward tells Teddy.
"We are going to thank the students who found evidence of a crime while they were disobeying directions. Law enforcement are grateful to the students even though they never should have left the path and again, I'm going to remind you. We as an academy will NEVER give you directions using a complicated system of rocks and marks on trees. Criminals, namely criminals who hide money in paper bags in National Forests, use these types of trail markers. We as an Academy do not. Should you think directions from us are telling you to repel down a cliff using primarily pieces of your clothing, stop and think again because that is not something we would have you do. Ever."
After a few more minutes of ranting Dean Alleyn dismisses us. He's very disappointed in us in general, but I really don't know what he expected would happen when setting us all loose in the woods like that.  It was bound to happen. I'm just glad we weren't the only ones to go get lost. I am annoyed we missed some of breakfast though. That wasn't very fair.