Right Here

Part 1

As soon as she was awake, tears filled her eyes. Maya pulled away, knowing from the entire day that she was "too soft" for Carina right now.

"Sorry I had to wake you up," Maya said, "But the doctors at Grey Sloan have a memorial planned for tonight, and I thought you would want to go."

"Si," Carina nodded, moving closer to Maya, "I do. What time?"

"In about forty five minutes," Maya said, "Ben is going to be here in a half an hour to take us."

Carina nodded, putting her head on Maya's shoulder as she sighed.

"Can you hold me?" Carina asked quietly, now that some of the pressure had eased, she was ready to accept some comfort, "Just for a minute?"

"Of course," Maya said, her arms around Carina faster that she knew she could move.

They just sat there for a minute, Carina crying a little.

"When I woke up, for the first two seconds, I forgot he was gone," Carina said through her tears, "It was like everything was normal and I was waking up to a normal day, but then I felt my head pounding and my stomach aching, and I remembered what had happened."

"I am so sorry," Maya said, rocking them a little as she held Carina tightly.

"Ok," Carina said, moving out of Maya's arms a minute later.

"What do you need?" Maya asked, "Want me to get you some clothes or make you some food?"

"Can I have some water?" Carina asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Of course," Maya nodded, getting up.

When she came back, Carina was standing at the closet, staring at her clothes.

"I don't know what to wear," Carina said, "I don't know if I can do this."

"I will be right there with you the whole time," Maya said, "It's pretty cold tonight so maybe a sweater?"

It took a little while, but eventually, they both were dressed, Maya helping Carina fix her hair a little. Carina started pacing again as they waited for Ben.

"What are you thinking about?" Maya asked, trying to get Carina out of her own head.

"We are about to go to a memorial for my baby brother," Carina said, rubbing her forehead, "My beautiful stupid baby brother is gone."

"I am so sorry," Maya said, getting a text from Ben that he had just pulled up, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I don't want to do this," Carina said, "I don't want him to be gone. I want him to be here and not in the morgue at the hospital."

"So we don't have to go," Maya said, "But Carina, there is no way we can bring him back and that sucks and if I could change it, I would in a heartbeat, but babe, we can't change it."

"I know," Carina said, tears filling her eyes, "I know. I want to go. I need to go."

"I think it will be good," Maya said, "Maybe it will even help. And I doubt anything there will be too soft because no one is allowed to hug."

Carina nodded, wiping her eyes.

"Ben is here, whenever you are ready," Maya said, "No rush."

Carina took a deep breath before looking at Maya.

"Ok," she said, shaking her hands a little, "Let's go."

"Masks," Maya reminded as they headed out the door.