Dear Augustus | I Never Let Go ✓

20 | The Acceptance

It goes till my eyes are sore, and I can't keep them open. I sleep with Adrian's smell engulfing me and wish the night never comes to an end.

But it does.

***

The speakeasy isn't packed tonight, just the usual town crowd filling the bar and grooving at the dancefloor. Your band wrapped their last performance in town yesterday night, and I wonder if you feel the same ache as me in your heart to let go of the band for us.

You are by the stage perched on a barstool, strumming your guitar playing a number that has become the crowd's favorite over the last few weeks. You always start the evening with the same song and your oh-so-alluring dimpled smile.

I slide up to the bar, giving Terry a nod. He has grown well over the years, with his close-cut dark hair and sharp cheekbones. No doubt he owns the entire speakeasy with that powerful aura of literally owning the place.

Your eyes follow my arrival, and you smile, hitting a wrong note. A low laugh escapes my mouth with the way you cover that up with a shake of your head. Your golden hair is not tied up, and they fall just above your shoulder, giving you a more mature look. I still can't believe you'll be all mine because the mere thought of it makes me feel guilty and uncomfortable. Those hopeful eyes, pinning me while you sing to the crowd, add to my misery.

I'm going official with you tonight, but it still doesn't make me dancing-on-air happy. You frown at me from across the bar as I down the jack and coke. I smile at you and shake my head when you assess me.

You can't ruin it, Violet.

And then you clear your throat into the mic, readjusting the tuning and strum softly. Once you have everyone's attention, you lock your eyes with mine.

"So, I've got this new song that I prepared for tonight," you say. "It's a cover of my favorite number for the girl of my life. Do you want to hear it?"

A series of whistles and claps ripple through the crowd, and I'm the first one to mouth a "yes" as you smile at me. "Brace yourself then because this one might make you cry." The crowd cheers and encourages me, but the way sadness seeps through your gaze, I suddenly feel a deep ache in my heart.

You start the melody, an intense shift from light to heavy tune, and then you sing with your eyes locked with me, and I know every word in that deep, reverent voice is just for me. And I find myself taking a long swig of water to prevent my drying mouth as your ballad begins.

"It's been like a lifetime

waiting for you.

I've been running,

Falling,

Looking for your face in every hello,

Longing for you in every goodbye.

I let you go once

A long, long time ago,

And I failed you then

But I won't fail you now

Won't let you drown,

Won't let you break.

I won't let you break.

Now that fate has conspired to bring us together,

I will do right by you this time.

Because baby, you have my whole heart

But your heart is somewhere else.

Now that fate has conspired to bring us together