Dear Augustus | I Never Let Go ✓

14 | Home Sweet Home

It is rightly said- home isn't a place. It's a feeling. The moment I enter the familiar threshold of my house, I realize I have been craving that feeling. The sun has set, and I'm welcomed with one of mom's warm hugs, followed by Daisy's air-knocking embrace. My dad grins at me, and I freeze at my first glimpse of him.

Exactly how much time has passed since I last saw him? His pale skin, the hollows that frame his eyes, doesn't stop him from looking any less charming in his office attire. He has lost a few pounds, and his neck looks thinner when he adjusts the tie around his collar. Daisy takes the duffel from my hand and follows mom down the hall to my room.

Me and dad, both stare at each other, trying to put up a show of our strength, and then my composure crumbles, and my legs rush towards him as his strong, less muscular hands reach out to me. "There's my girl," my father whispers in his gravelly voice, his glassy eyes locking on mine, and I fumble over his shoulders as he pulls me in a bear hug.

"I missed you, Dad," I mumble against his chest, sniffing and holding him tightly with my trembling fingers. He kisses the top of my head, holding me with such fierceness that it turns my stomach, his urgency so unguarded, a man who needs his daughter. A sob dies at the back of my throat as I realize how much it will break me if I lose him forever. The mere thought of it wracks me with so many emotions, and I feel stupid to believe any of his assurances.

I had believed when he appeared strong on the call, cracking light-hearted jokes about living for a hundred years. And now, as we grip each other as if this could be our final hug, I feel ashamed for staying away from the town for my selfish reasons. How could anything weigh heavier than this man who raised me, who loves me unconditionally, and who is holding me as if I'm his lifeline? Adrian was right when he said, "We often neglect what we have for what we want."

In this moment of truth, when I finally accept the ways I have failed him, I know that we never abandon the one we love, the one who owns our heart. No matter what the situation is- my father deserves my strength, my presence, and I decide to be the daughter he sees in me.

I keep holding on to dad's soothing embrace until it hits me, his test results. My heart hammers with so many possibilities, good and bad. My eyes pinch as I finally ask him in a whisper, still hugging him for dear life. "Dad, did you hear from the doctor?"

He holds the back of my head and makes me look at him, a loving smile spread across his face. My dad isn't much of an affectionate person, but he wipes away my tears with so much adoration that I feel all of his emotions in those gentle touches. He nods, brushing my hair out of my face, and kisses my forehead.

"There's nothing to worry about, Violet. I'm okay. They ran a couple of tests, scans, and whatnots, but the good thing is I don't have cancer. It's just Perivascular calcification in its early stage, hence the seizures." He says with assurance in his eyes. "I'm here, Violet, and we'll get through this together. I'm under the care of the best doctors."

Even though I'm relieved that it's not cancer, brain stones can be dangerous too. I'm crying once again with worry. He's not well, not life or death sick but not in good health either. I hug him back, letting him know that I'm still concerned for him.

"I was so scared, dad. What would I do if you ever fell sick? I need you, Dad. Mom and Daisy need you too."

"I know, baby," he whispers, kissing the top of my head, and I feel two more warm frames wrapping around us. Mom and Daisy, join us for the family hug, making my heart race with happiness and love for the first time in months.

***

Hours later, after our family reunion hug, we are sitting around the dinner table. Apart from Mom, Dad, and Daisy, Adrian's mom Julian has joined us for the meal. It was Mom's idea when I told her about Adrian's gift.