Mission Wall-E || Jakehoon

Twenty: She's in the Rain

He made eye contact with him for thirty seconds at most, seeing rainbows of colors and pink flowers on trees, painted against red and gold walls, pale skin and red lips, tiny body, and a held-back smile. Jake seemed to shimmer in and out between two people, and an occasional third every time he blinked. It wasn't literally happening, he wasn't hallucinating, but he could feel it. He could feel it in his forehead, right between his eyes. He could feel how he was both one and hundreds of different people all at once. And how each had a tsunami of emotions and words trying to burst out. And he held eye contact with all of them until Jake kicked off his blanket and stood up to walk over to Heeseung. Leaving him a little confused.

"Hyung, can you leave us alone for a bit? And tell Jungwon that Hoon is anxious and I might need him in a bit?

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Got it."

Sunghoon didn't know how nauseous he felt until the other mentioned him being anxious. But it was strong. His entire body seemed stuck and frozen in a pair of headlights. And adrenaline coursed through him making his stomach turn.

"No Jungwon is not needed. I'm okay." He spoke through thick words.

Heeseung nodded, ignoring the look on Jake's face that spelled out how hesitant he was towards the statement. And Sunghoon made sure to take into account how tired he looked. And how he was walking slower than normal. The oldest just seemed weak.

"You said he makes you feel safe though in the car? Wouldn't you want him if you feel scared?"

Side one of the hurricane says yes. He feels safe with Jungwon. Jungwon cares about him, he cares about Jungwon. Jungwon is in love with him and wouldn't do anything that would put him in danger. The eye say Jungwon is comfortable, and that he likes to fall back on his familiarity. But side two says he knows he'll still be scared no matter how comfortable or safe Jungwon is. He still will overthink his feelings for Jake whether or whether not Jungwon is telling him it's okay to feel them. He'll know that he'll understand, that'll he'll make sure he feels heard. But Sunghoon knows that he can't fix it. No amount of "I get it" will stop his obsessing over wanting to make sense of Jake. Side two makes him realize all the things he's noticed about Jake. All those things he picked up from watching, observing. He didn't rush when he observed. He was patient and just let people do what they did. But when he researched he got frantic. He can't research Jake, he doesn't have to. He already observed him.

He knows the little things. Jake likes strawberry lemonade. He likes drawing pictures with purple pens on the torn-up sketchbook he's had since tenth grade. He likes his dog, Layla. She's his lock screen. He laughs the hardest at Heeseung and Jay's dumbest jokes. The puns and knock-knock jokes. He likes skateboarding and soccer.

He knows the medium things. He likes art that makes you feel and think. Ones with odd and creepy elements that appeared gross to some people. He hates when people are upset cause he likes people to be happy and taken care of. He likes plans because he'll get stressed if they have no idea where they are going on the trip, scared they'll get lost or hurt. He likes violin music because it reminds him of Australia and his parents. He likes hugs, and always gives Jay strong ones, and Heeseung gentler ones.

He knows the big things. Jake feels like the world is cruel. He once cried because Heeseung told him about a girl who got murdered in the city they were visiting one day. He's patient. He doesn't rush Heeseung to hurry up with his messy (very messy) theories on things, he just sits and listens as the boy figures out things in a confusing way via talking them out with his friends. And he doesn't force Sunghoon to hold his hand or hug him when he isn't feeling up to it. He's so patient that Sunghoon now has no problem holding his hand at all, and is more comfortable with those hugs. He's parental. He wipes Heeseung's mouth sometimes after eating because he's messy and clumsy. And he puts bandaids on Jay's skin when he falls from doing something dumb. He's warm. His skin and personality. Just all of him. Warmth is inviting, caring to all no matter what. It's not hot and burning, but just the right temperature to heat up cold fingers.