Chapter Twenty - seven

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I do not wait until I get told I am disqualified, I do not wait until Anthony starts to fire at me, I do not wait until the judgments form about me. I do not wait at all, I flee. I race past the stables, right into the woods, faster than I have ever been before. Emily leads me because I am incapable of doing it, I continue looking over my shoulder every 5 seconds.

We come to a stop and my heart is racing, all my thoughts are running around and I cannot get them in order. My feelings are complete chaos, I do not whether I should cry or be proud of myself. I brush Emily's hair with my fingers to keep myself from breaking down and she neighs as if she tries to comfort me. As I take a deep breath and I am in a normal state of being, the realization comes to me. Not only did I just break any rule I have ever heard of, did I break Louis's heart, and did I betray the people I care about, I am in the woods, completely lost.

I look around, it all looks the same. Every tree is similar to the one next to it and I barely know what side I initially came from. I turn and turn, but I do not recognize a single thing. I pat Emily on her back,

"do you know the way?" I ask hopeless, she does not answer of course and I lay down on her back until suddenly, she starts to walk. Not having any idea whether she is going right or not, I trust her more than I do myself, and so she shows me the way. I assume we did not always take the right turns, considering that by the time we came home, the sun had already left. it was dark and cold, I could not stop shivering, these men's clothes did not keep me warm.

I am half-asleep when I somehow arrived in the backyard of Bridgerton's house and I barely notice we have arrived. Emily does, and she makes it clear by neighing louder than she has to. I sit upright instantly and I am wide awake, by the time I figured out where I am, my not so delighted cousin comes storming out of the house,

"OLIVIA BRIDGERTON" Anthony yells and I sigh,

"thanks a lot," I tell Emily,

"GET OFF THAT HORSE NOW!" he shouts loud and wakes all the neighbors, who do not appreciate it. I shiver once more and I am too tired to argue with Anthony at the moment. I slowly slide off Emily,

"thank you" I whisper and mentally prepare for the hate speech I am about to get,

"What were you thinking?!" Anthony spits when he comes closer, "entering the competition, not telling us, and then LEAVING without saying a word?!"

"I'm sorry," I say softly,

"you're sorry? After all this shit you've pulled, YOU'RE SORRY?! Because sorry is not going to make the cut, not this time. You blew it, Olivia. Now get inside before I-.."

"ANTHONY." Benedict interrupts and pushes him aside, "what are you doing?"

"What am I doing?! WHAT AM I DOING?!" Anthony gets more and more furious,

"Anthony, get inside, you are only making things worse"

"oh, and so she simply gets to walk away with this?! I do not think so.."

"We are discussing this tomorrow, brother, now LEAVE" Benedict sounds more persevering than I have ever heard him before. Anthony sighs deep and gives me one more death stare before leaving. My hands are shaking and my eyes stand low,

"I am sorry, Benedict, I truly am. I only wish-..." I stop talking when I feel a soft and warm blanket being wrapped around me,

"we talk this through tomorrow, you must go to bed Olivia"

"I have to bring Emily back"

"she stays here tonight, we will return her tomorrow. Come on, let me get you in the house" and with that, Benedict brings me inside. He orders Colin to take care of Emily and he makes everyone quiet down when I enter. He takes me to my room and I do not bother to change my clothes, I am too exhausted...

.......

I wake up later than usual, finding myself blinded by the sunlight and a whole lot of bad memories remaining from last night. I gently rub my eyes and spot myself in the mirror on the other side of the room. I get up and for the first time since I have gotten here, I inspect myself. My hair is straight and a little fuzzy, not to forget the pieces leaf the woods left on me as a memorial. My shirt is wrinkled heavily and on my trousers is some dirt, quite logical after the ride I made last night. My face is far from clean and I do not look very rested, seeing myself like this makes me think I fought someone and lost.

Concluding, I look like a mess. But somehow, I look like a strong one. A very strong and independent mess. The knowledge of having Anthony downstairs waiting for me makes me want to stay in the room forever, but I have no choice. I made a whole lot of decisions the past weeks and clearly, Anthony finds all of them wrong. But is it strange, when I do not regret making any of them?

As my mind races, I unbutton my shirt, planning on getting myself back into a corset and a way too tight dress. I am halfway when I look up to myself once more and I lower my arms. I thought I was terrified, but the person in the mirror is not. The person in the mirror is confident and ready for the fight ahead. Which means that, so am I...

.........

NOTE: hi, here I am again, apologizing for this chapter that sounds a little too philosophic (i have no idea how to spell this word, I'm not even English). I did not want to make this chapter too short but I had in mind to have the fight happen in the next chapter so now you're stuck with this... sorry :)

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