Wild At Heart (Zuko)

Chapter Thirty-Two

Zuko sits on the edge of the bed watching Iroh as he snores away on his own bed across the room. This is the quiet moment he has been waiting for. To talk with Kali. He glances over her shoulder at where she lays with her back to him again and he sighs. He has to put this right. He can't bear the silence. Not from her. He picks up Bing from the bed and sets him on the floor before he lays next to Kali, pulling the blanket around him, to join her. Bing's little footsteps echo slightly as he moves to find somewhere else to sleep. Zuko turns so he's staring at the back of Kali's head.

"Look, what I said earlier..." She keeps her back to him and he dances his fingers down her spine. "I'm trying to protect you" He whispers and then leans closer to kiss her shoulder. He never meant to hurt her, it was never, and will never be his intention. Fear gripped him when he saw her standing at the window. Anyone could have looked up and seen her there. Seen what she is. Azula knows she is with him. One word that there is a nature-bender in Ba Sing Se, she will be right here. His fingers touch her scars. 

"If I wasn't green" She starts. "It would be different" Her voice breaks a little. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath. But he won't lie to her.

"Yes, it would be different" He agrees quietly against her shoulder, nuzzling into her. Begging her to face him so he can talk to her face and not her back.

"I've never felt this way about the way I look before," She tells him as she turns to face him, his arms wrapping around her. "I was always trapped because...I was, because that's what they told me to do...to stay out of sight. I thought it was because..." She touches the collar around her neck. "But now...now I know it wasn't..." Whilst he hates that he does, he understands why they kept her hidden.

"If anyone else finds out about you, about what you can do" He starts, cupping her face gently. He doesn't want to continue that thought. He knows what might happen. He knows what people might do to her. "I don't want to see you in chains again....or worse" She nods a little. He brushes the side of his little finger down her nose and gives her a soft smile. He never wants her to think that there is something wrong with the way she looks.

"If I looked like everyone else...." She whispers, tears gathering in her eyes.

"You don't need to look like everyone else" He stops her. "I think you're beautiful" He assures her. "Just the way you are..." She nods a little but it's stuck in her head now. That doubt. That distaste for her own skin colour. Ba Sing Se is a city too big and too populated to disappear, especially for her. She stands out too much.

......

Kali waits until Zuko is asleep before she moves. Carefully climbing over him to leave the bed. She doesn't want to wake him though. She just needs a moment to herself. Despite being alone all afternoon, she just needs to take a breath. She steps into the little side room, the washroom, closing the door behind her. She turns uses the strike stones to light the candle in the room. Using it to light it up enough that she can see her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She turns to look at her reflection, staring at her green skin, tilting her head one way and then the other. She lets out a breath and stares into the mirror, before she holds out her hands, they begin to glow green and she closes her eyes. There is a warmth that rolls over her and then nothing. She opens her eyes again to find her reflection is different but the same in a way. It is still her. It is her eyes. Her nose. Her mouth. But her skin is now the same as everyone else's. No green except for her eyes. She smiles and looks down at herself, checking that it's not just the reflection. It's not. She managed to change the pigmentation in her skin. Changing the colour.

"Just like everyone else" She whispers to herself, drawing her fingers over her arms. She could go outside. She could take walks and meet people and not be stuck inside anymore. She looks up at her reflection when that warmth rolls over her again, her skin's gone back to being green. Her eyes sadden. She's not strong enough to keep it up. To keep herself normal. She slides down the wall and closes her eyes, burying her head in her knees as she cries.

.......

On the other side of the door, Zuko sits on the floor listening to her sob, his head pressed back against the door. He's not very good with crying people, more so people he cares about crying. He doesn't know what to say to make it better. He doesn't know how she's feeling about things, he doesn't understand it from her perspective. He just wants her to be happy, and she's not. She's far from it. Ba Sing Se hasn't made things better, it's made them worse. Zuko rests his head onto his knees and lets out a breath. He needs to do something to cheer her up. Find something in the city that she can do, that's going to make her happy.