Convalescence || Dabi x Reader

Chapter 19 (Final): You Deserve Better

Warnings: near-death situation,

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(y/n)'s POV

I remain on my knees, eyes closed and head down, for several minutes waiting for words, movement, or death. Whatever it is, I'm ready for it.

Silence alone surrounds me, but I do not move from my position. It isn't until my ears catch the creaks of the floorboards and a few vibrations reach my knees that I sneak a peek at the person in front of me. They open completely upon viewing the image of Dabi with his knees and elbows against the floor; his hands are wrapped around the nape of his neck, traveling upwards to grab fistfuls of hair. Shallow, fast breaths and gasps are unwillingly released from his body. I am then taken aback when they become screams of pain.

Rings of blue fire burst outward from his hunched figure, and they grow taller and hotter as his cries become louder. I turn to protect my face as the waves of flame pass over me – I remain unharmed due to my fireproof clothing; however, it takes an intense ringing in my ears to snap me into doing something.

I move carefully yet quickly to crouch in front of Dabi, my gaze catching droplets of blood that coalesce into thin streams falling over his cheeks and onto the ground. The building shakes beneath me as the fire takes over its already weak structure. His screams make the world itself shudder.

I lightly rest one hand atop of his, still clamping desperately around his black hair, and I point the other above us. Resting my forehead against the top of his bent head, I pour my own raw emotions of loss, anger, and love into another solid dome of white fire – doing it twice within half an hour is extremely taxing though. It not only protects us from fire and falling debris from the outside, but also eats up the oxygen on the inside – good for extinguishing the fire within but bad for our lungs. I only leave it up until the inner fire dies out; by then, however, the hypoxia has made us both a little loopy. Dabi isn't as panicked as before, but I can no longer reliably use my quirk.

My vision is blurry and it only gets harder to breathe. The ceiling will collapse and moving Dabi in this state is a bad idea, but I can't think straight enough to find another solution. Using what little physical strength I have left, I drag one of his arms over my shoulder and force him onto his feet.

"Come on, we need to get out of here," I urge, though my words dissolve into a coughing fit.

"No, please. I don't deserve..." Dabi begs me with a hoarse voice.

He tries to push against me, but his attempts are weak enough for me to work against.

"I will not leave you behind to die."

Through multiple doorways and around several collapsed beams, I slowly navigate us toward the front of the building, the smoke dragging several horrendous coughs from both our lungs. Soon, I can see the road – the front doors were ripped off their hinges long ago.

We finally reach the blacktop, but I don't stop moving us further away until I hear the building finally collapse in on itself. When I turn my head to see the remaining wood pile of embers, relief washes over me relaxing every muscle in my body – perhaps too much. I then feel the warm road against each section of my body as my vision finally gives out.

When my eyes are rested enough to open, I am facing the sky. The stars – though blurry at the moment – are visible above me due to our placement outside the city. Despite no longer being inside a burning building, I notice my face still feels hot and hurts to touch in some places. Pushing through the sudden dizziness, my arms strain to lift me off the inviting ground. I observe my surroundings as my vision clears. The building's remains are still glowing, so I must not have been out for too long.

Then, thankfully, my eyes catch Dabi's figure about ten meters away. He's entirely silent once again, sitting cross-legged and hunched over with the long black trench coat he wore earlier discarded to the side. His gaze traces the scars on his arms. When I move to sit next to him, I find that some of his healthy skin now had burns, though only first and second degree this time, and blood is still running down from the staples below his eyes. I move to put a hand on his shoulder, but he grabs my wrist fiercely before loosening his grip and pushing it away gentler.

I keep my hands to myself, but I don't move from my spot next to him. We sit next to each other absorbing the quiet, which is only disturbed by the distant crackling of the embers before us.

So where do we go from here? I don't want him to leave, but is that really a good idea for either of us? Something about me or what I said must have been what caused this outburst, and I don't want to be the cause of any more pain for him. Also, Dabi said that there was something about me being me that would hinder him, and it's evident that he's been suppressing whatever that is for a long time. Is it possible that he truly does have feelings for me?

But then again, what has he done for me? Well, I had found a reason to fight for the future, a reason to believe that things can get better. He opened my eyes, which were content with a flawed hero society, and gave me the courage to do something about it. It might not have been intentional, but his presence did good for me.

Eventually, breaking my train of thought, Dabi says something.

"(y/n), I didn't know how to say it, what I felt back then – I still don't. It was strong ... persistent ... but it was good. I didn't know what it was and, I admit, it terrified me."

I remain silent, but I absorb his words carefully.

"And as much as I have repressed any inkling of it, even the slightest thought or memory of that feeling, I think it's still there. Actually, today has proven that it's still there. I ran away from it, but it never left me," he rasps out, sparing me a quick glance before continuing, "But you are right; you have always been right – as irritating as it is to admit that aloud. All I do is take. All I have ever done to you is take, and I have given nothing in return. I wanted to fix the world, but how can I when-." He lets out shaky breath, cutting himself off.

"You deserve better, and I deserve nothing. Leave me behind as I did you. Take our experience today and move on; find someone who knows how to love properly. Just ... just leave me alone. Please, (y/n)," his breath only becomes shakier despite how much I can tell he's trying to suppress it.

He doesn't say anything more.

I stand up – a soft sigh fails to avoid my hearing – and I grab the med kit I carry with me in an awkwardly placed back pocket. When I sit back down with it in hand, his breath hitches and he sits upright to fully face me; his mouth is open slightly, but he shuts it almost immediately and looks away. Finally, he releases the air he's been holding in and manages to get his breath under control again.

I pull out some super absorbent, non-stick cloth, small antibacterial wipes, and some burn cream. I take the cloth and start cleaning up the blood still fresh on his face. As I work, his eyes are only centimeters away from mine; they're reddened around the outside, but his irises are still the beautiful ocean blue shade that I remember. I leave behind that moment of eye contact to focus on my work. I give him a small smile.

"I love you too."

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A/N: And that's where I plan on ending this story. I won't attempt to measure it up to other stories you might have read, but I hope this was a journey worth experiencing for you.

If you really want it, I might make an epilogue (just let me know in the comments), but otherwise, how the relationship evolves from here is up to you.

If you like my writing, I'll be starting a Shinso x Reader story soon that will be much longer than this. I've got most of it planned out already, so I'm kinda excited.

Word Count: 1475