Slave to the Gods

Fifteen

        You're leaning against the wall, holding the rail. The lit-up city brings you joy as you look out over Asgard.

        You regret it all.

        You regret ever meeting Loki... or do you?

        You have no clue how to feel anymore.

        You're sad, angry, upset at everyone, and confused.

        And I thought Loki was bipolar. I need to figure out what I want, and I think I want Loki. He cares for me, and I care for him! He wouldn't be doing all of this if he didn't truly care.

        You shut your eyes tight.

        No, no, no! This is just Stockholm syndrome or some spell. I don't understand this... I want to get closer to him, but I don't know if I can ever trust him fully.

        Your eyes snap open, "He only treated me badly when with Odin... when in private he always makes sure I'm comfortable, full, clean, and as happy as I can be considering." You accidentally mumble your thoughts aloud.

        "It's true," Thor says.

        You turn around to look at him.

        He walks closer, "Loki explained everything to me. He would put on a show so he wouldn't disappoint our-... Odin."

        You look down, "I'm sorry if I'm the reason you can't be close with Odin anymore."

        Thor laughs, causing you to look up at him.

        "You mean so much to me, to all of us. Odin put you in pain and hurt you so much, but it did show us what Odin is actually like."

        You nod a bit.

        "You know, Loki's feelings are true," Thor reassures.

        "Are mine?" You inquire, hopeful for answers.

        "You have to figure that out, Y/N. I can't do that for you. And if your feelings aren't real, I assure you Loki will let you go." Thor smiles gently, "He's asked me before if I think you're actually happy because he cares for you and doesn't want to see you hurting."

        You grin and hug him tightly, laughing when he picks you up off of the floor.

        "Thanks, Thor."

        You're now back in Loki's room, continuing your internal debate about your feelings toward Loki.

        Maybe my feelings are real...

        You clench your fists tightly.

        What am I thinking? This is so difficult and frustrating!

        "Don't worry so much, my child." Queen Frigga soothes.

        "I can't help it." You sigh as you spin around.

        "What's concerning you, my dear?" Queen Frigga questions, walking closer to you.

        "I'm just so confused." You admit.

        "This is about my son, isn't it?" She inquires gently, although you know that she already knows it is.

        "Yes... I don't know how I feel." You confess.

        "I know. Loki told both Thor and me what happened. He really cares deeply about you."

        You chuckle, "Yeah. Thor told me the same thing."

        "Because it's true, my child."

        "I hope so." You murmur.

        You slowly walk in the garden along a small bridge over water, rippling from miniature magic balls Loki's throwing.

        "Hey..." You greet timidly.

        He looks over at you, then quickly looks back at his forearms as they rest on the railing.

        "Hi."

        You stroll over to him to stand beside him, copying the same pose.

        After a few moments of silence, Loki finally speaks, "If you want to go home, I completely understand." He whispers, and you can hear the pain and sadness in his voice.

        I need to know...

        You swallow hard before clearing your throat, "I think I will leave."

        Loki breathes out a sad breath, "Then I will prepare things while you gather your belongings..."

        His sadder and more pain-filled tone hurts you, but you keep reminding yourself of your plan.

        Once you've gathered up your things, you head along the rainbow bridge. You then see Loki, Queen Frigga, Thor, and Heimdall waiting for you at the Bifröst.

        Queen Frigga pulls you into a hug, taking you by surprise, but you soon wrap your arms around her.

        You pull away, moving to hug Thor goodbye, but he holds you out at an arms distance by your shoulders.

        "No need for goodbyes. I'm going with you."

        You chuckle, "Okay."

        When you glace over at Loki, he's looking back with glossy eyes.

        "Goodbye, Y/N." He mutters, almost inaudible.

        "Goodbye, Loki."

        Thor wraps his arm around your waist, keeping you close as you return to New York through the Bifröst.

        I have some answers to find...