Little Things

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As always, sorry for any mistakes and always read with putting yourself first.

TRIGGERS: self harm, disordered eating, talk of body image/body changing

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Harry made it two days without cutting his thigh again. The day was normal and went fine. The only difference was that Harry found himself in the bathroom, digging through his toiletry bag until he came across a pair of tweezers.

The cuts weren't that deep, barely scratches even, and there were only two of them since Louis knocked on the door, but he still had to restart the stupid timer on the stupid sober app Dr. Rossi made him download.

The biggest problem was that he kept scratching at the small, little cuts, prodding and picking at the scabs covering them.

It made him feel like complete shit, especially when Louis coddled him and held him. He didn't feel like he deserved to be held, mainly since he couldn't even bring himself to cry.

It's the next day and Harry's jittery, clearly more on edge then normal, which of course, Louis noticed, asking if he was okay.

"Can't you just punish me if I cut!?" Harry exclaims again, frustrated as to why his dominant won't do this. He had already asked yesterday, Louis saying no.

Louis sighs, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Harry, I love you to pieces, I do, but please think about how I feel here. I'm telling you that it would make me uncomfortable, so please believe that."

Harry frowns, taking a minute to pout to himself. "You're right, 'm sorry. I don't mean to be so..." He groans, throwing his head back and stomping to the dressing room couch, shoving his face in the cushion as he lays down. "Sorry."

Louis quickly inserts himself next to Harry, rubbing his hand lightly down his back. "Stop being so hard on yourself. It's okay to come to me for help or a distraction, I'm always here, okay? But we're not doing any sort of punishments anytime soon, and you know why, so please stop asking."

Harry curls his fingers around the cushion, annoyed, even though he knows Louis is right.

They had a conversation on how Louis didn't feel right giving punishments that cause any physical pain, knowing that it was a possibility Harry would put himself into situations that got him punished so he was harming indirectly.

Harry rolls himself off the couch and goes to the bathroom, locking the door and plopping down on the closed toilet lid. He drops his head into his hands, his foot anxiously bouncing. He knows why he's upset and annoyed, but it's not fair to put something else on Louis.

There's a knock on the door and Harry sighs. "I'm not doing anything, just sitting," Harry spats, exhaling when it comes out more angry than he wanted.

"Can you at least unlock the door, please?" Louis requests, earning an eye roll from Harry.

He unlocks the door anyway, knowing Louis has every right to be worried. Louis on the other hand, isn't angry, but instead worried. And it hurts really badly. He brings his hand up to his chest and rubs, feeling the strong ache sat inside him.

He sits down, trying to take in large breaths as he rests his head back. Another minute passes by and Louis sits up quickly when there's a knock followed by Harry's assistant bringing in his clothes for the night.

"Where is he?" The young woman asks with a frown. "He has an hour."

Louis nods, taking the held out clothes. "I'll handle it, thanks."

The girl leaves and Louis sighs, knowing this process is going to be a struggle. He lays everything across the couch. "You've gotta get dressed, bub."

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