How (not) to buy a couch

DAY 5

Wei Wuxian could not sleep too well that night. He had been thinking about his lover doing all the hard work and even pushing himself to call unknown people on the phone – which Wei Wuxian knew Lan Wangji hated – to try and get them a couch. And all just because he had selfishly decided that they needed one right now. He was already tempted to let all of this go and just cancel even the second order and refuse the couches when they would be delivered.

However, the very same fact would not let him just throw away all the hard work Lan Wangji had already done. That is why he decided that this time, it should be him who would pick up the negotiations with the customer helpline.

He got out from the bed even earlier than his lover today just so he would be able to cook breakfast for him as a way to say thank you. He had seen how stressed Lan Wangji had been yesterday and he wanted to help him ease that tension.

Just when he had finished setting up the table, his lover appeared in the kitchen, already in his business clothes and his hair perfectly done.

Ever since they had been forced to work from home office, Lan Wangji insisted he would behave just like he would if he actually went to work. So he would always prepare everything in advance, then go on a run to the train station and back and lastly, he would put his suit on before switching on his laptop. Although it was Wei Wuxian who had conference calls with cameras switched on more often, Lan Wangji still insisted it gave him a sense of normalcy and Wei Wuxian was surely not the person who would take that away from him.

"Lan Zhan," he smiled and went to kiss his lover good morning, "have you slept well?"

The question was not entirely necessary, he could already see that the response was a negative one, but it was their traditional morning question and he did not want to skip it.

"Mn," hummed Lan Wangji noncommittally and he kissed Wei Wuxian back.

Wei Wuxian gave him one more chaste kiss for the good measure and of course to encourage him and he chirped happily while he was serving the breakfast: "Lan Zhan, I will call the people on the helpline today. I only have meetings in the afternoon so there should be plenty of time for me to do so. I am sure that if I explain the situation, they would just recall the transport of the couch from our first order and everything would be fine. We would get our money back and then the couch from the second order. What could go wrong?"

Lan Wangji thought that after his yesterday's experience, his lover's rhetorical question did not really fit the situation. He could already predict that things would not go as smoothly as Wei Wuxian was imagining. But perhaps he was just being negative. He knew his lover, and Wei Wuxian was anything but shy or maladroit while talking on the phone. It could be that he would succeed where Lan Wangji had failed.

Once Lan Wangji was in the living room sitting at his work table, Wei Wuxian went back to the kitchen with his phone in his hand. He did not want to stress his lover too much and so he decided that he did not need to hear the conversation or him explaining their misfortune to the person on the helpline. It could stress Lan Wangji even more.

Wei Wuxian had already learned from his previous experience and he waited until the store's business hours – which were shorter than your usual business hours – would start and then he dialled the number, taking a deep breath to give himself courage and patience.

"Welcome to the customer helpline. Please insert your order ID so we can help you." The recorded voice on the other side of the line said.

Wei Wuxian dialled the first order's ID, since it was the first order which was making him frown. However, the response from the robot was negative: "You have entered an incorrect order ID, please verify your ID and insert it again."

Wei Wuxian's frown was becoming more pronounced. It seemed like the system was not registering the first order anymore but still, the purchased item was already on its way. What a mess. He took another steadying breath and put there the ID of his second order. He hoped to get through to a person so he would be able to explain the situation. He could not very well reason with an automat.

It worked and soon there was a living person talking to him: "Good morning, thank you for calling our customer helpline. How can I help you?"

Wei Wuxian did his best to smile because he knew that the person on the other end would be able to hear it in his voice and he explained: "Yesterday, we have cancelled an order done via your online store. We have then placed a new order for the same item with help of a shop assistant via phone since we need the item to be delivered and installed in our living room. However, we have received information from a transport company that the couch from the cancelled order was already expedited. I would like to ask you to kindly check that the order was duly cancelled and to recall the transport."

The person on the helpline seemed not to have understood his problem, because they asked: "And what is your problem exactly? The item you have purchased is already on its way. Why do you want to cancel the transport?"

Wei Wuxian sighed internally and reworded his statement: "We have two orders currently and we do not want to receive the couch from the first – cancelled – one. We need to get the couch from the second order which had not been expedited yet."

The person on the other side of the line still seemed confused, probably thinking that he was mad or something but still, they asked for the first order's ID. Wei Wuxian gladly provided it.

"I can see that your order is cancelled properly. If the item is already in transport, there is nothing that our company can do for you. The only option is to refuse to receive the package once the item arrives to your doorstep."

For a second, Wei Wuxian was completely shocked. He could not understand why the couch would need to first be delivered and then refused instead of the transport getting cancelled before the piece of furniture would traverse the whole country two times. The next second, he was ready to argue. He had already taken a deep breath but then he thought better of it when the helpline worked asked with a bored voice: "Can I help you with anything else?"

"No, thank you," was all that Wei Wuxian was able to get out of his mouth. The person on the other side of the line told him his goodbyes and the phone went mute.

It took Wei Wuxian a whole five minutes to gather himself enough to start thinking clearly. He could not understand that company's reasoning. Surely if they would be thinking about it, and not just following some kind of idiotic procedure or whatnot, they would realize that it was not economic nor environmentally friendly to not recall the item half way. Especially when they were talking about such a huge one as a couch, it would surely take the whole space of a transport van in vain and the company would be paying the costs.

He shook his head, still in disbelief. If the store would not do anything against such wasting, he would. He went to his notebook and searched for the phone number of the delivery company.

Once he found it, he dialled it immediately. Luckily, this time there was no recorded voice greeting him but a real person picked up. He explained his situation with the couch again in great detail so there would not be any misunderstandings.

The only thing which this person asked was to reassure itself: "So you want to cancel the delivery?"

Wei Wuxian was suddenly very ecstatic, finally there was someone who understood his problem and was apparently willing to help.

"Yes please, I do not want the item to be delivered. Please ship it back to the sender."

"I understand, thank you for calling us. I will enter this information into the system."

"Thank you, have a good day," Wei Wuxian said his goodbyes and when the phone went mute once more, he quietly cheered. He did not want to disturb Lan Wangji but he was just so happy that at last, everything would be fine. Now, they would just have to wait for a phone call from the shop and agree when the couch from the second order would be delivered to them.