Over The Edge

four

If you ever asked anyone about Ku Loon Higurashi they would say she was a happy woman, always smiling and ready to offer a helping hand. She was a strong woman, single handedly raising two children while also taking care of her elder father in law.

Yet the one thing they would caution you about was this: never hurt her children.

Despite her happy and sweet demure she was at her very core a very vicious mama bear.

So as her eldest and only daughter sobbed out what had happened the past few days she was hard pressed to not break the fine china that was in her hands. How she wanted to storm down to the well jump in it and go find those....bastards and give them a piece of her mind.

Instead she shoved the anger down anger, her rage, and focused on her child. She was hurting, her small shoulders trembling as the sound of her tears hitting the now cold water she sat in echoed around them.

Frowning Ku Loon stood, placing her empty cup on the sink in order to grab a large fluffy towel. Turning to face her daughter she held it out, her head turned to the side to give her some privacy. “Come on out dear. After you're dressed we can get some food in you and talk more.” Her voice was light, the only sound was that of Kagome getting out of the tub, smiling she let her take the towel and wrap it around herself.

Taking a quick glance at her to be sure she was steady on her feet her mouth went dry, there on her daughters semi tanned skin were faint lines, scars, some new some old...they had not been there before her journey to the past had started yet now they sat on her skin like a road map, displaying all the times she could have lost her daughter.

It would seem Kagome’s journey had been much more dangerous then she had let on and had been keeping it from her...

Part of her wanted to be mad, yet she knew it was such a Kagome thing to do. Even as a child she had been cheerful, caring and outgoing. Always willing to do whatever it took to help someone or get them to smile.

Her heart was just too big.

It would be the death of her...

Shuddering at the thought Ku Loon instead plastered a smile on her face and followed her daughter out of the bathroom into her room.Moving past her she paused in the doorway into the hallway. “You get on some clothes and I’ll warm up some left overs.” 

Kagome could only nod and mumble a, yes mama, as she watched her mother leave the room shutting the door behind her. Slowly she made her way to her dresser and pulled out a pair of sleeping shorts and a tank top. Forgoing a bra and panites for the night seeing as it was late and her brother and grandfather were already asleep. She would shuffle down stairs, force down some food and then pass out. 

She was tired in every sense of the word.

If she knew her mother wouldn’t get upset she would just go to bed now and forgo eating. She didn’t even have an appetite yet she knew it would only worry her mother more and she hated that. 

Hated the way her mother had to force her smiles and pretend she wasn't scared every time she went down the well. Hated the fact that she missed seeing her brother grow up and hit certain mile stones. Hated the fact that she was missing precious time with her grandfather, he wasn’t getting any younger...

She had given up so damn much for the sake of fixing her mistake and yet it still wasn’t enough for her would be friends. No, they all hated her yet pretended to like her just because she could see the shards. To them she was nothing more then a jewel shard detector! 

To think all this time she thought they were a family and they were merely tolerating her!

Her shoulders trembled in anger and sadness, the two feelings were usually brushed off yet right now they clung to her like a second skin, sinking into her and churning in the very deepest part of her.

All this time...the smiles, the laughs, the hugs...the late night conversations...they were all a lie...

Her shoulders shook as a sobb racked her body yet she angrily rubbed her clenched fists into her eyes, willing the tears to stop. She didn’t want to cry again! They weren't worth her tears, no, not even sweet little Shippo. While he hadn’t said a single cruel thing to her also didn’t stick up for her nor did he stay with her...though could she really blame him?

He was just a child, an orphan who was trying his best to survive... 

Was she really so selfish that she would want him to put his survival on the line to stick up for her? No, as much as it pained her she knew he would be safe with the others, at least for now. God, if only she had been more vocal about wanting to be trained! Instead she had always let them make excuse after excuse, let them brush her off just for the sake of keeping the peace and now it was kicking her in the ass.

She moved on auto pilot, entering her bathroom to grab her brush to brush out her long raven locks. Her gaze anywhere but on her reflection, she could never look in one these days without seeing Kikyo. 

Kikyo.

The name put a foul taste in her mouth.

She had tried her best to not hate the other woman, to understand the pain and tragedy the other woman had been subjected to but as time went on and she was compared again and again to the undead miko it had become harder and harder to not have some negative feelings.

Kikyo would have done this or that.

Kikyo was this and that.

Kikyo is better at this and that.

Kikyo.

Kikyo.

Kikyo.

Snarling she slammed the brush on the sink and glared at her reflection. 

Kikyo had brown eyes, hers were blue

Kikyo had straight black hair, hers was wavy.

Kikyo was as pale as fresh snow, she was tanned from her time in the sun.

Kikyo’s face was oval and elegant, hers was still loosing her baby fat of a child turning into a woman.

Why was it so damn hard for people to see difference between them?!

Everyone always compared them...everyone except for...Naraku...

He often called her miko or wench in the few times they had faced off against each other...never had he called her Kikyo’s reincarnation or compared them...

Letting out a bitter laugh she shook her head and closed her eyes as she turned from the mirror to glance at the black pearl he had left her.

Odd, he was the enemy, the big bad evil they had to over come to bring peace to the land yet he was one of the only people who saw her as Kagome. He was the only one to see her potential, even offering to help her reach it...

She wasn’t stupid she knew he had an uletrior motvie, he always did but at least with him you knew what you were getting into...

“No, I shouldn’t even think about it...” Whispering to herself she walked back into her room and placed the pearl into a small cup meant to hold rings and other small trinkets. She was far too emotional to be thinking straight, instead she would plaster on a smile and go downstairs to choke down some food to make mother happy. Afterwards she would go to bed and hope to god tomorrow was a much better day.

It had to be, right?