Anytime I want

The wedding

Lexa looked in at him, he didn't look like someone Clarke would be friends with and he wasn't exactly acting like he was invited to the wedding. Not to mention the fact that he called her Clarke Blake instead of Clarke Griffin. Something felt off about him. Then Lexa remembered the fact that Finn was the mayor of New York's son. There was likely to be paparazzi trying to get photos of the wedding.

"Sorry sir, I don't know anyone by that name," Lexa responded, hoping that the man who must have been a reporter would just leave.

"Thanks anyway," he responded before driving off.

Lexa rolled her eyes as she hopped into her truck and sped away, making her way to the beach.

As Lexa drove the lightning conductors into the sand, pounding each one down with a hammer, she tried not to think about the fact that the impending storm would ruin Clarke's outdoor wedding. She tried not to think about the fact that Clarke was probably walking down the aisle at the exact moment she hammered down the third conductor, wearing a dress worth more than the entire price of her wedding to Lexa. She tried not to think about the man sliding a ring on the slender finger that once held the ring that symbolized her love for Lexa. She tried not to think about the fact that as much as she wished things has turned out differently, in the end she just wanted Clarke to be happy. She tried not to think of all these things, but failed miserably.

Lexa had two conductors left to hammer down when the rain first started to fall. It started to pour as she finished pounding down the last one. Even though her relationship with Clarke had ended five years previously, and she'd done this very thing multiple times over the years, today it felt like she was nailing nails into the coffin that had been their relationship.

Lexa Woods didn't cry. She was a beer-drinking, truck-driving redneck woman. She didn't cry. Or at least that's what she told herself over the years. It was how she explained to herself how she'd managed to last the past five years barely shedding a tear.

The truth was, the tears only came with the rain. When she could stand outside and let them fall without any proof of them ever having existed. When the memory of her first kiss, and the many after, played over and over in her head.

The day of Clarke's wedding was no exception. As rain pounded into Lexa's skin, she could pretend the water rolling down her cheeks wasn't salty, that it wasn't tears. She knew she was denying the truth, but at least this way she could pretend that everything was okay, that she could be content living her life with just her business to keep her company.

Finally, the rods were all in the ground. Just in time too, as Lexa saw the first flash of lightning and heard the first roll of thunder. The lightning was still a few miles out, but with the wind, it would reach her beach in no time. With ten conductors in place, Lexa was sure she'd get at least one new glass piece, hopefully more.

In the meantime, however, she'd have to wait out the storm. She was just about to turn back to wait it out in her truck when she heard the wind howl in a way that sounded eerily like it was calling for her.

Three months had passed since Clarke had left and the first real rainstorm since her departure hit on a February afternoon. Lexa had been drinking all day, but that was nothing new. She'd been drinking herself into a stupor since Clarke had left.

At the sound of the thunder however, Lexa knew she needed to get to the beach. She wasn't an idiot though. Her parents had died in a drunk driving accident and she knew that couldn't get behind the wheel.

She contemplated calling Anya or Bellamy for a ride, but decided that she deserved the rain pelting down on her as she walked down the two miles down the county road to the beach.