Espera | R. Grayson ✔

[43]

Samantha looked uncertain, "it's alright, I can come back later. You look tired and I don't want to make you further worried."

Lavina took in a deep breath, "tired... I guess so. I have been exhausted these days."

"Oh. May I know what's wrong?"

"Nothing, dear, just matters of the Court," she smiled again, masking the pain that was still coursing through her veins, "if you don't mind, you can stay here with me. I could definitely use some delightful company at this hour."

The red on Samantha's cheeks became prominent, "uh, are you sure it's okay...?"

"Of course, if it's no bother to you."

 Samantha looked a bit confused but agreed to stay nevertheless. After all, it was very hard to say no to Lavina Vikander.

It seemed as if the woman knew her inside out and could look deep through her heart to figure out the deepest and darkest secrets she had ever harbored within her. And just the thought of herself being so transparent to the elder woman made her go with whatever she told her to do without objection.

It was almost as if Lavina was fully aware of the power she had on her and didn't refrain from using it to her advantage.

***

Samantha tilted her head to look at the woman beside her, as always a million questions swirling within her.

She found it so easy to confide in Lavina, so natural to put her trust in her and yet she still had so many questions that would upset her.

There was one main question that always disturbed her but she had never dared to ask it out loud.

What was she to Lavina Vikander?

A pawn in a game of chess or a very significant actor in a plan of chaos?

She could never be certain of what the woman truly felt about her even though she kept assuring her that she was fond of her and cared for her. But the reason to that was still out of Samantha's grasp.

There had to be a solid reason behind Lavina's attachment towards her but she couldn't figure out what it was.

The only thing she knew was that the more time she spent with her, the deeper she penetrated through her mind and soul, leaving her more and more entranced by her charm and grace.

Lavina was like a dangerous predator; a siren luring in her prey through sweet songs before devouring them mercilessly.

Yet Samantha was still alive and couldn't help but wonder what was the reason to it.

The rest of Gotham saw her as Lavina's prodigy, a woman she paid utmost attention to and made her follow in her footsteps obediently. A woman she was probably training to be just like her own self; fearless, successful and flawless.

But Samantha herself was confused to her actual role in Lavina's scheme. It must be significant since the woman kept her close and paid utmost attention to her, but at times she got too controlling as she shaped her life the way she wanted to.

Still she couldn't bring herself to mistrust her.

There were many questionable things Lavina had done so far but she had always had such convincing reasons behind them such that she couldn't ever doubt her.

She didn't stop her when she got to close, she didn't object when she showed affection and she simply let herself be steered like a puppet because deep down she was afraid of the consequences if she didn't let her do as she pleased.

"Sam, what is the matter? I see you are still awake."

Those eyes were still shut which made Samantha nervous as to how she could have guessed the she was awake. "How did you know?"

"Your heartbeat, darling, it quickened. Right now, it's racing," she laughed lightly and her eyes fluttered open at last, not looking at her directly, "what's the matter?"

"Nothing," she breathed.

She had turned towards her, her arm trapping her underneath as she hovered above, dark eyes looking down at her intensely, "it's alright if you don't want to tell me. Just don't think that you can't confide in me."

"I know... Of course I trust you," her voice shook slightly as her wide eyes took in those mesmerizing features up close.

"I'm always going to be right here for you," her tone was gentle and adoring as she bent down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, "anytime you need me to listen to any problem you have, just come to me. I will do my best to help you out, no matter what the situation is."

"Thank you," she mumbled, eyes unable to look away from her as the woman hadn't pulled apart just yet and was so close that their foreheads were mere inches apart.

Her enticing perfume settled around her as bluish grey irises looked up at her enraptured, lips parting slightly to speak but no word escaped her.

Just a low moan as Lavina swooped down again and sealed their lips together in a deep, unrestrained kiss.

Right then, she forgot that the woman who was kissing her so passionately was in fact engaged to Bruce Wayne and would eventually tie the knot with the Mayor's only son. She forgot that she was the rightful Head of the Court and was using her and her father as puppets to control the Court herself.

She forgot everything and only focused on the present as the kiss deepened and those slender fingers cupped her cheeks, caressing the pale skin softly.

Hence she did nothing but kiss her back with just as much passion, a trace of desperation even for she didn't want to pull apart from her.

When morning came, it would have to end but as long as the night was deep and Lavina was with her, she wanted to savor each second of her presence.

At times, she couldn't help but wonder if Bruce felt the same way when he was with her too. And it was then realization stabbed through her heart and she seemed to snap back to reality.

What she had shared with Lavina was wrong considering that the woman had already promised to marry Bruce. Hence, she reluctantly pulled apart from her, hiding her face in her hands as she turned over, a wave of guilt washing over her.

"Sweetheart, what happened?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," she had left the bed, taking her overcoat that laid on the couch as she hastily began to wear it.

Lavina's jaw clenched very slightly such that the change in reaction was almost negligible, "what are you being sorry for? You did nothing wrong, I took the first step."

"And you're engaged to Mister Wayne," the back of her palm rubbed at her eyes furiously, as if to keep the tears at bay, "I don't know what I am to you, Miss Vikander, but I certainly don't want to be the reason for you and Mister Wayne to drift apart. I'm sorry."

"You're leaving..."

"Yes," her voice broke as if she didn't want to leave and it was causing her a lot of pain to do so but she had made up her mind, "it's better if you and I both take our time to think out thoroughly what we are to each other. And when we've reached a final answer, we will decide how to proceed accordingly. Miss Vikander, trust me when I say this, reacting instinctively at this moment is only going to make things worse and I don't want that."

The door opened as Samantha left without another word and a dejected sigh escaped Lavina. She brought her knees closer to herself, head resting on her arms that were wrapped around her legs. 

At that moment, she felt horribly alone and the more time passed as such, the more she realized that she was still being unbearably selfish. And the reason that she was left alone was no doubt due to that selfishness she had exhibited towards all the people that had come close to her but drifted away due to her own incorrigible habit of controlling people much more than it was acceptable.

***