In the beginning, I obey the heavy rain blindly. Now you're the hero of my book, the villain in the chapters, and the pain causing me art. This kind of art I am making is my favorite phase 'cause I feel everything all at once and it's all because of...
You distance yourself, I do the same. My distance is not meant to hurt you, this is a part of me to protect myself.
I love you. I love you. I love you. And I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much until it hurts, it did hurt, no more hurt only more love, but I'm scared of you.
I love you so much that I can't even come up with word no more to express it and I'm sorry while you're not sorry that if my silence makes you think I don't.
I do, I really do. I do, I really do. I do, I really do. I do, I really do. I do, I really do. I do, I really do. I do, I really do. I do, I really do.
...
News from home. I never have one. Write soon, strong heart. He said, your loving mother must be waiting. I never have one. Write soon, I'm anxious, my work, newspaper, everything. I couldn't breathe. You know I live for freedom. You know I live for healing. You know I live for your letters, your messages.
Darling, I'm counting on you to write. He said, keep writing! Your writing could saving someone. He said, your letters do them such good. He said, but really, I never have one! You can't imagine how much your messages cheer me up, I'm so bored.
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Please don't let so much time pass. Your letters are so important.
Please write as often as you can. That's all matters!
Write soon I said to myself. I'm waiting for you.
I won't be sad even if you won't be my home. The Inferno of First Love, 1968, I couldn't get you out of my head, but you're not here now. I'm entirely yours and hard to belong to anyone else. My never ending love, my first love, my forever love, the ethereal world of mine.
You were all the beauty and good things I could find in all people I met. All the longing of this life. I will admire you, love you, adore you. Yes, I will never change even if I'm scared and had this traumatic shit, I will never change. That is me then and also now.
...
How empty everything is, honey. I miss you more than life. I will love you, still, even though I'm scared. I knew you love a girl who write, here I am. Remembering how much we promised to write, you write, I will always write, 'till the day I die.Yes I fucking do...
