Cost Of Its Worth [SHINHWA]

No U-turn

I irritably dodged the offensive noontime light when I tried to remove my dark glasses over the burning heat of the sun while I am still trying to make myself comprehend what happened to me yesterday. It is far from being closer to fiction but the harder I put effort to think about it, the more realistic the fact digs to my soul. I am under probation of my grand-mother, a kind of agreement that I didn't even intend to accept only because, she meant a lot to me.

I took another deep breathe and gathered my thoughts as I sit uncomfortably on my ride going to a dreadful place that I've never heard of, well perhaps yes – yesterday. I just took a bath before I went out but my sweat made me look that I went all the way here without even drying my hair properly, I am soaking wet and fanning myself does not make any help at all.

I didn't expect our driver to drop me off on a provincial station. It is my first time to be here and I look oddly different from all the people who are about to go to the same destination as I am. My generous chauffeur bid me good bye with a matching "Fighting!" gesture before he left with our company's car. Base from what he told me earlier, my grandmother asked him to reserve tickets for this absurd call of duty about a month ago which means that she planned it for a very long time already.

I didn't have any appetite to eat breakfast when I woke up and I went to pack my stuff right away early in the morning. I think I just had coffee and now my stomach is screaming for a proper meal. It's almost lunch time and the summer heat is not helping at all, my temper is about to reach its limit. Bus stations are normally filled with food stands but how come that this one doesn't have anything? Oh my. I'm starving to death; I'm getting a little bit dizzy and irritable.

I took a look at my ticket and saw that the bus will be leaving the station at 12:30 pm and I just have 5 minutes left. The conductor started shouting at the bus door for boarding and I felt hopeless with an empty stomach. I tried to ignore my hunger once again and lined up with the people. The bus looked bigger, which gave me the idea that it is really for huge transports. The maroon chairs can be reclined for sleeping purposes which gave me a better expectation of a comfortable travel time.

I gave my ticket to the bus operator and he looked at me twice. He must have known that I am a tourist going there because he greeted almost everyone with a familiar tone in his voice. I just smiled at him politely to ease the awkwardness and he just smiled back. It's a good thing he did not bother to open a conversation with me.

The bus has a bad air-conditioning system. All the outlets were busted at the top of my head and it is freezing cold. Almost all of the passengers except for me knew about this instant winter season inside even if it is a hot sweaty summer in the real world. Endure. All I can do is let out a sigh of bleakness, since I only wore a t-shirt partnered with denim jeans. I could have taken out my hoodie but it is at the bottom of my luggage. Even if I managed to pull one of my chequered long sleeves the breeze simply passes through it and pierces to my skin making me feel almost numb as time goes by. I tried to shield myself with my light backpack which contained my mini necessities in life but it cannot cover my whole body in reality. Hopeless.

It took an hour before the bus can get through the traffic in the city and by the time it escaped from the urban chaos it speed up on the empty highway to recover the wasted travel time that we had, the atmosphere got colder. I took a slight peek on the road after the toll way pass and I could see a zigzag road waiting for us climbing on a stiff mountain path. What have I got myself into? There is no way of turning back at this rate.

As I rub my hands together to put up with the extreme icy temperature, an old man sitting opposite to my seat suddenly called out to me with his hand stretching to my direction, trying to give me something.

"My, my.. I guess you are not from Sylfaen, that's why you are suffering like this young lady. Here, take this and wear it. It might spare you some degrees from this freezing point. It'll get colder as we enter our town's border."

"Thank you." was the only thing that I can say while trying to control my trembling teeth. All the wrinkles of his old age formed a very warm smile as he sank to his seat for another round of nap. He has been like that ever since we set off to that place. Sylfaen.

He lent me this rugged snap back. The logo on it is hardly recognizable but I can say that it was maybe one of his favourites. It looks ancient because of all the holes punched to it by time all of which were just randomly patched up neatly with the closest linen shade that could match the original. The sides were faded too as a sign that it has been overused.

I wore it without hesitation letting off the rest of my hair cover the back of my neck while the rest of it rested pass to my shoulders. We will be there in less than 4 hours from now.

Obviously, I don't have anyone to talk to. The bus' television is showing a somewhat old fashioned film which nobody bothered to watch. These people seemed to be very busy with their own business and it's also a good thing that I was left alone on the furthest space of the bus. I stuck myself on its corner and admired my overlooking view among all the passengers.

It is a good thing I brought my mp3 player with me and as soon as I put my earphones, I raised the volume high enough for me to somehow seclude myself from all the possibilities that can happen on my trip and calm down a little bit from all these anxious feelings building inside me, music is my therapy.

With my predicted 6 hour land travel, I decided to remove my contacts so that I will not be in trouble just in case I fall asleep. It's cold and I am alone, I will be sleeping for sure.

I knew I was dreaming as soon as I saw my grandmother's face in front of me as she brushed my fringe off my forehead and continually told me that everything will be okay. I tried to ask her a question but now, words will not come out from my opened mouth. Her eyes were filled of excitement while I looked back at her with astonishment blended with a huge mark of disbelief. I can't understand any of this. Everything!

While trying to scream out loud in my dream, I fell from my seat.

By the time I got up on my feet, I realized that the bus is already empty. I scratched my eyes again and it's all blurry, I got my eye-contacts from my bag's pocket and put it on in a hurry. I checked my wrist watch for the time and found out that I overslept. Oh NO. I tried to glance from all my directions and I can't find anyone. What kind of nonsense?! The bus is not even on the terminal or anywhere which looks like a residential place. I am half way losing my mind when I heard a siren shouting as a police car runs on its way towards the bus. I hurried up and tripped on the slippery stair of the vehicle.

I somehow managed to land safely on the grass but I scratched my right elbow on a sharp rock right beneath the mossy surface of the roadside.