Call Me Jamie

It can wait.

"Hey man, whats up? You got that frustrated pout you get when your thinkin to hard." Sam commented, his thick accent bleeding through his tone.

"Nothing, nothing. Im fine." They sighed, going back to wiping the counters as he cleaned up from making breakfast. There was that feeling again. Man. It didnt feel right. Maybe they were nonbinary? They didnt want to make a decision yet. They wanted to sit on it.

"You know you can talk to me, i was a VA counselor. I deal with army men like you all the time, given youve been through alot more than WWII, but im still willing to help if you want it. Eeeeven if you tried to kill me. Twice." the Falcon chuckled. Bucky staged a laugh and a nod, but they felt sick to his stomach. Army Man. Yes they were a soldier, in the army at that, but why did they feel sick being called a man? Wasnt the first time. Every sir he got, ever 'Hey man!' or 'dude' made him feel nauseous.

"Thanks, but im fine." They said softly. Despite still being broody and always having some form of dark aura around them, the way they spoke was a totally different story. They were shy, their voice was soft, though raspy at times. Steve has told them that they used to be a huge 'ladys man', which made Jamie feel nauseous again, but it was a striking difference to the Bucky they all knew that day. For one, Jamie had come out to them saying that they liked men. Steve had known, Jamie had been out to him practically their whole lives. They trusted everything with each other.

"Offers up if you need advice. Here, lemme finish cleaning. You need to eat. That beefy super soldier body needs sustenance, you know how much Steve can stomach?" He chuckled. "He could eat a whole thanksgiving feast by himself." Jamie hummed and tossed the rag down, picking up their own plate that they left to the side. Placing it in the microwave they reheated it, the french toast having gone cold from sitting out.

They knew what "super soldier body" meant. The image of masculinity, muscles and muscles, extreme strength. Bucky was fairly buff, and they enjoyed it... sometimes. Other times they really hated it, they just wanted to be smaller, to disappear. Not in the way of having an eating disorder, they just wished he had less muscle.

They wanted the dainty look, the look of societal femininity. But going into farther thought, they wanted androgyny. To be able to look more feminine some days and more masculine other days but have people respect them for who they are.

"Bucky? Buck- Hey man, come back to me. You okay?" Sam looked at him concerned, having noticed that the man spaced out and seemed deep in thoughts and/or memories.

"What? Yea, yeah I'm okay Sam. Just thinking about something." They sighed, glancing up to Sam before looking down again with an awkward smile.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked further, eyes softening.

"I'm good. Thank you though. I uh- I'm gonna go talk to Steve about something. Do you know where he is?" Jamie asked, going to stand up.

"In your guys' level. He went down to take a nap, said he was exhausted from a shitty meeting he had earlier."

"Okay, thank you, Sam." They offered another smile, a more genuine one before daring off to the elevator.

"My floor, please, Jarvis." They said softly as they entered the elevator.

"As you wish, Sir." The AI responded, the elevator jumping as it started and moved up. Jamie was once again having that odd feeling in their chest. Sir. They didn't like that, they concluded. They really hated it. It frustrated them, hands clenching and palms sweating as they huffed a breath.

"Are you alright?" Jarvis had asked. "Your heart rate has risen substantially, and your breathing has labored." He explained how he came to the conclusion, the AI's cameras mixed with extreme intelligence briging him to that conclusion.

"I'm.. How the fuck did you- I'm fine Jarvis. Thanks." Jamie blushed, confusion taking over his mind. How the fuck did a random voice that seemed to be in the whole building know how they were feeling?

"I detected through the cameras, if you were wondering how, Sir." He reminded Jamie of the sensors in the cameras. Jamie nodded despite the pang in his chest at the prefix once again.

Jarvis opened the doors, Jamie entering the cozy living area Steve and them had made their own, decorated with 40's decor and even a vintage record player. They made their way around the apartment size level of the compound, searching for their best friend.

"Steve? Where are you? I need to talk about something if that's okay." They called, walking around till they heard a sleepy groan from Steve's room.

"Sorry, it can wait. Take your nap, punk." They smiled softly.

"Thank you, jerk." Steve mumbled back, falling back into his easy sleep.