Open Your Heart to Me

My Own Private Sorting

It's spring, there is a still coolness in the air but the warmth of the sun is melting away the morning dew on the ground. Flowers are blooming and opening up to soak in the sun. Giggles erupt through the morning silence, as I can see a toddler, no older than two, running through the grass. Her golden hair glowing in the morning light as she weaves through the grass. A pair of feet chase after her, an animal. I can't see it, but I can hear it and feel it's powerful presence as it chases the child. It's hunting her, but not in it's attempts to hurt her, it's playful. Holding her arms out in front of her she leaps into her mother's arm as she gets thrown into the air. Placing a sweet kiss on her cheek my vision draws closer to her face.

"My sweet girl"

Bolting up in my bed I'm drenched in sweat. My head pounding and aching to reveal more but it's struggling to comprehend what I am seeing. Groaning I blindly reach over to my bedside table for the vial of potion that should be waiting for me. I hear a soft whine at my feet as I brush my long hair from my face.

"Thanks Lucky" I tiredly whisper as I reach for the small potion vial that he holds in his mouth. Uncorking the bottle I take an uncomfortable sip, coughing and struggling not to gag as my headache begins to fade away. Sighing with relief I begin to massage my temples as the strange dream I had begins to evaporate from my mind. I can't remember the last time I ever had a good nights sleep. I am plagued with dreams and visions that are fogged and cause me a massive headache.

You would think that even though I take daily sleeping draughts and morning medicinal potions that it would help. It makes it tolerable to get enough rest that I need but I feel as though my body is trying to fight through the medication. Unfortunately the taste hasn't gotten any better over the years. I don't understand what's going on and it frustrates me no end. Everyone just says they are nightmares, hallucinations but sometimes I wonder if they are something more? The dreams started happening when I was five years old. I started the medications and have been taking them daily ever since. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I stopped taking them? Would they get worse? Would they get better?

Falling back against my pillow I pulled my sheets back up over my head in my attempts to get a few more winks of sleep. Hearing an unhappy snort and grumble at my feet my sheets were suddenly ripped from the bed.

"Hey!" I snap as Lucky jumped up onto the end of my bed and sat facing me. He gave me a huff before he leant over and licked my face. Giving him a scratch behind the ears and a belly rub I couldn't stay mad at him for long. Lucky was a gift from Hagrid when I was eight years old. Dumbledore had forbidden any magical creatures so he had gone into a Muggle pet shop and got me a border collie puppy. He has been my shadow and only friend ever since. I loved him with my whole being as I knew he was ready for breakfast. Hearing a gentle single knock on my door I chuckled as I knew exactly who it was.

"Come in Severus" I called out before he entered my room. He paused as he glanced at the state of my bed and raised an eyebrow. The sheets had been ripped from the bed and were crumbled up in a messy ball. My spare pillows had been thrown across the room at some point when I was tossing and turning.

"Rough night?" He questioned with a small smirk. Huffing through my nose I gave him a playful eye roll as he pulled out my chair from beside my desk and sat down. He gently placed down two bottles, my daily medicine.

"When did you arrive?" I asked him happy to see a familiar face.

"Last night"

"Why didn't you wake me?" I huffed as he gave me a knowingly look.

"You will be moving out of here this afternoon" He told me as I looked around my room silently for a moment. These four walls had been my prison for as long as I could remember it would feel strange to finally leave them. I had a private bedroom within in the teacher's quarters, away from prying eyes. I had been living on Hogwarts grounds since I was five years old, forbidden to talk to any of the students or let anyone besides the teachers and groundkeepers know of my existence. I was hidden away from the world. But now I was eleven years old, I would be 'attending' Hogwarts as a student. I could walk the grounds freely, not just at night or during the end of year holidays. Every day. The only positive thing about living in this prison for so long was I knew all the secret passageways in the walls.