COMRADES • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 40: Punishment

You were paralyzed. Levi never got badly injured. How could that be so? He had always won every battle, fought with every last bit of the power the Ackerman clan gifted to him. The idea that the very last person who could be defeated was now the weaker one filled you with dread. You slammed a fist onto the muddy ground in frustration. If only you had acted quicker. It seemed to be your biggest regret nowadays.

The rain continued to fall as you closed your eyes. Every last cell of your body screamed in pain, but you forced yourself to crawl on all fours towards the stream of water that bubbled in a crevice of rocks. You plunged your hands into the shallow water and felt instant relief.

You bathed the blood and ash from your face. The pain in your hands could not compare with the pain in your abdomen, which was where Zeke's spear had hurt you best, where the wounds would have been fatal if it weren't for Levi. You dangled your hands in the water and clumsily swirled your fingers around like a child playing with paint.

Levi. When would you stop owing him your life?

You got a glimpse of the wounds on his body— gaping, charred flesh. It was no strange injury to you. You hated fires and explosions and burns, and have always hated them since that awful day in Shiganshina District. Both times had been the result of Zeke.

Beyond the stream you could see him, stupidly laying on the ground with his nose up. Rage turned your fingers stiff and you were overwhelmed with the urge to claw at his torn face. Your breaths turned ragged as you wheezed with pain. There would be no revenge for you now. Perhaps Zeke thought that you would want to partake in his double suicide. But he was a fool to think that a single thunderspear would be the end of you.

The rain filled your vision and you closed your eyes to darkness.

-

YOU ENTERED A NIGHTMARE from which you woke repeatedly only to find another terror awaiting you. All the things you dreaded the most, all the people you loved living through what you dreaded the most, manifested in such vivid detail that you wondered if this dream sequence was even ordinary. Each time you woke, you searched for safety, only to be pulled back into another chapter of torture.

You knew this was the nature of the Eldians, where a path connected all and showed what you feared in your sleep. You came to your senses when someone began to gently slap you awake.

"Y/N? Y/N, can you hear me?"

You opened your eyes to see Daphne kneeling over you, Floch behind her and wielding a rifle. Behind them were other members of the Jaegerists, soaked in the rain. Beside you, kneeled Hange as they held an impaired Levi in their arms.

"He must have been hit by a thunderspear explosion at close range," said Floch. "Is he dead yet? Let me send a shot through his head, just to be sure."

"He's dead," you quickly lied through a dry, raspy tone. "I killed him myself. His insides are in shreds."

"You shot him?"

"I threw the thunderspear when he was trying to escape with Zeke on the carriage. It was a direct hit."

"And why are you covered in blood?"

You winced. "He... He beat me up in the woods. And I'm laying with him here because I passed out after checking his pulse."

Hange glanced at you with a look of disbelief as they checked for the confirmation of Levi's passing. You saw their hand go to the spot on his neck and were certain that they had felt the pulse of life. A quizzical expression took over, but you refused to look them in the eye. They now knew you had lied. But the question lay in what they would make out of it.