OC Ratings | 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐬

Hopepaw

Name┃ Hopepaw

5 out of 5

Absolutely beautiful and can be wonderfully symbolic; however, I will also give you a warning upon using Hope-.

With prefixes like this, you often end up writing cats a little too perfect. I speak from experience lol! The name is a large part of how you end up creating your character, so just keep that in mind.

Gender┃ She-Cat

All right!

Rank┃ MoonClan resident

Is that your equivalent of StarClan? (Edit: Read further, great! Where was she from before?)

Age┃ 10 moons (about)

Aww, she was really young-- and so close to reaching her warrior ceremony. She was about thirteen and a half in human terms, poor molly.

Clan┃ MoonClan - MoonClan cats live in the sky. They hunt among the stars, and when a cat dies, welcome them. If that cat is evil . . . Well, we don't say those words.

Cool! Is MoonClan's territory a replica of the Clans on the ground, like StarClan's? Also, is the moon sacred to these cats? Was that why it was named?

Appearance┃ Short-furred black tabby she-cat with dark gray, tiger-like stripes and a snowy-white chest and underbelly; bright, wide, amber eyes. (I may have a realistic and genetically accurate cat!)

Fifteen out of Fifteen

She is a accurate! I believe this colouration would be called a bicolour black tabby, or possibly a black tuxedo tabby? Either way, this works!

Personality┃ Hopepaw is sweet and caring, though she has tendency to pass off battle wounds to her mentor, Skycloud. She has a strong bond with MoonClan, though the Starfields only appear to medicine cats.

All right! It makes sense that she has a strong bond with MoonClan. (Also love the idea of Starfields.)

However, she is a bit too flawless. In order to give her some depth and make her a bit more relatable, here are some ideas:

-- Sweet characters may be passive.

-- She may be unproductive.

-- She may be a illogical.

-- Perhaps unassertive, unambitious, or unstructured.

Backstory┃ Hopepaw was born as Hopekit to Dragonhorn and Toby into BerryClan alongside Tumblekit, Wishkit, and Dreamkit. Shortly after their birth, Stormystar died, and Dragonstar became the leader, telling Skycloud to look after the kits. 

Did Hopepaw feel any sort of abandonment after her mother became leader? It makes sense that she would form a close bond with Skycloud, though was it shared with her siblings, too?

Also, since Skycloud's a medicine cat, was there any conflict of interest there? 

 After Tumblekit died of greencough shortly before his apprenticeship, Hopekit made the decision to become a medicine cat, so that none of her kin would face his same fate. She was apprenticed under Skycloud, but was terrible at learning the herbs, though seemed to have a strong connection to MoonClan. 

All right!

One thing to note is that kin usually can't apprentice each other due to the natural bias. Of course, Skycloud is only her adopted mother, but she did raise her. What did the clan think about that?

Also, the poor memory/lack of ability to learn the herbs is a good flaw!

 After her death at the paws of greencough, she continued to guide Skycloud from MoonClan.

An interesting role reversal!

Family┃

Mother - Dragonstar (black tabby)

Father - Toby (brown)

So long as one of them has white on them, she should work!

Brother - Tumblekit (black tabby)

Poor little guy.

Sisters - Wishpelt (gray tabby); Dreamheart (brown tabby)

Where did Wishpelt's colouration come from?

Likes┃ Skycloud, MoonClan, peace

This makes sense, although a bit bland. Maybe add something a bit more colourful, such as mice or early mornings.

Dislikes┃ Herbs, blood, wounds, battle

Herbs certainly contrasts with the rest of these lol! I'd give the same suggestion as above. For instance, maybe add that she dislikes hot weather, birds, or something like that!

All in all, Hopepaw is a pretty interesting cat! I do like that she is determined to be a medicine cat, even if she doesn't initially seem suited. I would be wary, though, with how perfect she is, so to say. With a beautiful name, few flaws-- plus the fact that she dies young, which happens to many such characters-- it is something to handle with care.

I do believe she has potential, and even as is, can be written right! I can't wait to see this story, either way.

Thank you so much for your submission! <3